IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

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In contemporary times, the majority are relying on alternative medicine to tackle some
health
Use synonyms
 issues rather than taking advice from a doctor. Personally, I tend to believe that leveraging other medical treatments may have a negative impact on the
health
Use synonyms
 of the patient,
therefore
Linking Words
 visiting a medical specialist is necessary to recover as quickly as possible. On the one hand, most adults are well aware of their
health
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 state, so they may
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 traditional ways to get well.
Due to
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people
Use synonyms
 knowing about their allergies or how their body reacts to different pills, they are able to take care of themselves.
Furthermore
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, the majority of adults have acquired basic knowledge about medicine from different experiences in life,
accordingly
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, they may effortlessly take essential medicines that are required and useful in an emergency situation.
For instance
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, if an individual has a high temperature above 38-39 degrees,
then
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 paracetamol will assist in dropping it.
According to
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 a recent report
of
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by
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 UNICEF, approximately 64% of
people
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 have paracetamol at home.
Conversely
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,
people
Use synonyms
 may take painkillers or some medicals
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not an appropriate dose,
consequently
Linking Words
, they will face some detrimental
health
Use synonyms
 challenges. Some adults may not be able to distinguish different medical treatments,
for example
Linking Words
, to stop a cough they may take
in
Change preposition
apply
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painkillers
instead
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 of necessary medicines.
Moreover
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, not appropriate medical treatment may cause other harmful diseases.
For example
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, every third person who overuses painkillers faces stomach and liver problems.
To sum up
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, in modern days,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to recover by themselves at home,
however
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, they are not aware of the fact that it can have negative consequences, and visiting a
health
Use synonyms
 professional is better and has a positive impact.

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. It’s crucial to develop both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion. This ensures a more balanced and comprehensive essay. Make sure your personal viewpoint is clear and strongly supported by relevant arguments and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by linking ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., therefore, consequently, furthermore) to indicate relationships between ideas. This will make your essay flow better and make your arguments more coherent to the reader.
General Advice
Try to avoid repetitive sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Use a variety of sentence types and lengths to keep the reader’s interest. This will also help you to demonstrate a greater range of language skills, which is essential for a higher score.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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