Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Parents
, nowadays, are spending a lot of money to teach their offspring great etiquette and manners. While
some people believe that adolescents' behaviour
must be monitored on a daily basis, others argue that this
can pose some challenges to their mental health in general. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument, while
I support the latter opinion.
On the first
hand, a lot of people, who argue that Correct word choice
other
children
's code of conduct should be controlled by their parents
or guardians, might say that this
enables teenagers to develop a strong conscience, being able to tell what is right and wrong. The reason for this
is that parents
must monitor their offspring's behaviour
since this
will teach them manners and etiquette. For example
, school-going teenagers in my country, India, are usually rewarded for their attitude and code of conduct. In contrast
, if these students are not monitored on a regular basis, then
they might become a bad influence on the adolescents surrounding them.
On the other hand
, I would argue that their behaviours should not be monitored. It is because of fact
that Correct determiner usage
this fact
this
will enable them to develop their own opinions and thoughts without any pressure from guardians or parents
. To illustrate this
point, a child can learn in abundance in school provided that there is no pressure on him on how to behave each and every second of the day. On the contrary
, if school-going children
are measured every single day for their behaviour
, many of them might become timid and emotionally weak in fear of fulfilling the criteria proposed by their well-wishers.
In conclusion, while
rewarding children
for their apt behaviour
can compel them to become obeying
Wrong verb form
obey
children
, some might become emotionally inept because of continuous monitoring. I think that students should be allowed to choose their behaviour
freely.Submitted by utsavchandel26sep on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic of the essay and maintains a logical flow of ideas.
task response
Provide a strong and clear opinion with supporting reasons in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure that the main points are effectively developed throughout the essay.