Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Parents

Use synonyms

, nowadays, are spending a lot of money to teach their offspring great etiquette and manners.

While

Linking Words

some people believe that adolescents'

behaviour

Use synonyms

must be monitored on a daily basis, others argue that

this

Linking Words

can pose some challenges to their mental health in general. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument,

while

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I support the latter opinion. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, a lot of people, who argue that

children

Use synonyms

's code of conduct should be controlled by their

parents

Use synonyms

or guardians, might say that

this

Linking Words

enables teenagers to develop a strong conscience, being able to tell what is right and wrong. The reason for

this

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is that

parents

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must monitor their offspring's

behaviour

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since

this

Linking Words

will teach them manners and etiquette.

For example

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, school-going teenagers in my country, India, are usually rewarded for their attitude and code of conduct.

In contrast

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, if these students are not monitored on a regular basis,

then

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they might become a bad influence on the adolescents surrounding them.

On the other hand

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, I would argue that their behaviours should not be monitored. It is because of

fact

Correct determiner usage

this fact

show examples

that

this

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will enable them to develop their own opinions and thoughts without any pressure from guardians or

parents

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. To illustrate

this

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point, a child can learn in abundance in school provided that there is no pressure on him on how to behave each and every second of the day.

On the contrary

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, if school-going

children

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are measured every single day for their

behaviour

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, many of them might become timid and emotionally weak in fear of fulfilling the criteria proposed by their well-wishers. In conclusion,

while

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rewarding

children

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for their apt

behaviour

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can compel them to

become obeying

Wrong verb form

obey

show examples

children

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, some might become emotionally inept because of continuous monitoring. I think that students should be allowed to choose their

behaviour

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freely.

utsavchandel26sepFri Jul 29 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic of the essay and maintains a logical flow of ideas.

task response

Provide a strong and clear opinion with supporting reasons in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure that the main points are effectively developed throughout the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The popularity of tourism is increasing day by day. There are many benefits of tourism, but it also creates some problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was brought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?