The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

#student #study #school #university #benefit #travel #job #skills

In today's modern society, it is assumed that students who apply for a job or take a trip to other places before they start higher education are more likely to get benefits and make more contributions to society rather than those who only focus on their studies at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

. With regard to the statement, I personally agree with it and the following essay will discuss it in detail.

To begin

with, many learners

this

day decide to enrol directly on universities right after they have finished their secondary education. And it is supposed to have some weak points.

Firstly

, the lack of real-life experiences has adverse effects on their studies.

Besides

, high academic marks and being equipped with in-depth knowledge of their industries do not ensure to have a good social position and career path.

For example

, in

Viet Nam

Correct your spelling

Vietnam

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, many cases of unemployment which relate to graduates have been surveyed and most of them have to return to their hometowns or be tied with blue-collar, low-paid posts.

On the other hand

, those who take part in a part-time job or experience new environments are believed to gain more success in their careers. The principal reason behind

this

is that it is an ideal environment to comprehend exclusive skills

as well as

practical experience which is essential for their future.

For instance

, those who have experience

Change preposition

show examples

real life tend to perform better in time and money management

as well as

often make more rational decisions than others. In conclusion, I believe that taking a job or a trip before they start higher education is a much better choice than only concentrating on studying from school to university because it will give them invaluable perspectives on all aspects of life.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Fri Jul 29 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is adequate, but there could be more clarity and precision in connecting ideas. Work on presenting a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and address the topic effectively. Keep up the good work in providing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay!

task achievement

The response to the task is largely complete and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. Ensure that ideas are expressed with more precision and directly address the prompt.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

You have recently read a book about a city you know well and found some incorrect information. Write a letter to the author. In your letter tell him/her of the incorrect information give him/her the correct information explain why they should correct it.

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?