Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays , attitude
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
children
shows
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
parents
control their
children
in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
manner and bad manner. Some individuals believe every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
should control their
children
's
behaviour
and all other
things
.
However
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
believe that
children
should be free to apply their own
behaviour
. So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would explain both the points and give my
Correct your spelling
opinion
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand , many
parents
want their
children
walk
Add the particle
to walk
show examples
in their paths
also
they want to control their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
.
Therefore
many pupils have knowledge about good
behaviour
and bad
behaviour
.
For example
, if
parents
learn their son and daughter about how to respect older
oeople
Correct your spelling
people
and how to give them answer so in future they can make
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
citizen of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Moreover
, many
children
learn
thing
Add an article
a thing
show examples
from their
parents
so it is
also
beneficial for them in their
acedmic
Correct your spelling
academic
and commercial life because
parents
are
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
teacher all good
things
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
from them
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
it is very
Correct your spelling
important
imporatnt
Correct your spelling
important
for
Correct your spelling
children's
children
choldren's
Correct your spelling
children's
gradual growth.
On the other hand
, many people
things
that
children' s
Change noun form
children
show examples
are free to do all
things
and
also
they apply their own thinking and
behaviour
. In
this
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
if
children
do not understand their older
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
feelings and
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
so they can harm cultural
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
.
In addition
, many pupils adopt
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own
behaviour
and
therefore
they might
be struggle
Change the verb form
be struggling
show examples
in their school
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
they
also
do miss
Correct your spelling
behaviour
bihaviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
with their teachers and other students.
Also
some time
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
they become more
stturbon
Correct your spelling
stubborn
to specific
things
and it will be harm full for them not only
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fysically
Correct your spelling
physically
but
also
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mentally . In conclusion , in my opinion ,
children
must
be encourage
Change the verb form
be encouraged
show examples
by their
parents
so they understand easily their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
opinion
also
it will be beneficial for them to become
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
and responsible
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
society .
Submitted by Sunny💌 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: