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Writing Samples
Band 6

The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

#student #study #school #university #benefit #travel #job #skills
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In the contemporary epoch, education has been a major benchmark for folks in attaining
success
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 in diverse aspects of
life
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. In view of
this
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, there is an irrefutable discussion that argues whether
students
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 who travel or get a job before proceeding to tertiary institutions tend to be more successful than
undergraduates
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 who do not.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the point above and
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 discuss it in the following paragraphs
while
Linking Words
 I conclude with my opinion.
To begin
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 with, I agree that
students
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' exposure to real-
life
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 scenarios is a catalyst to
success
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 before proceeding to a tertiary institution. Many
undergraduates
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 who are privileged to either travel or work for a certain period of time before getting admission into the
university
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 always understand their aim and objective which makes them focused on their goals in
life
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin started working
in Mc Donalds
Correct your spelling
at McDonald's
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 when he finished high school for two years till he attained a managerial post because of his level of understanding of
life
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 objectives. Going forward, he got into the
University
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 of Texas and happens to own a small gadget business since his first year which is very successful to date. Invariably,
students
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 getting exposed to real
life
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 or travelling gives them a background knowledge of
life
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 before
university
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 days.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having hands-on
experience
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 is a major benefit for growing
undergraduates
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.
This
Linking Words
 is a major aid to
students
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 who are about to start their
university
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life
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 because it will give them a better understanding of their lectures and practical
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 as they have attained
experience
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 before time.
For instance
Linking Words
, In 2009, Wole Soyinka, a lecturer and political activist at the
University
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 of Ibadan, Nigeria conducted research on the effect of
students
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 having hands-on
experience
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 before kick-starting their
university
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life
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 which stated
undergraduates
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 are more productive with hands-on
experience
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. Undoubtedly, hands-on
experience
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 is an attribute of a student's
success
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
students
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 are mandated to travel or work for a short period of time because it would help re-orientate their mindset towards attaining
success
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 in every sector of
life
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.
Submitted by simeonagbanoma on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve higher scores in coherence and cohesion, you can work on ensuring that your main points are more comprehensively supported throughout the essay. Adding examples or evidence for all main points will help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, although you've addressed the main point, including more specific examples or data could enhance your score. This would make your essay more engaging and your arguments clearer.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is clear and outlines your position on the topic effectively, which gives a strong start to the essay.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your opinion strongly.
task achievement
The essay consistently maintains a clear central argument that students benefit from working or traveling before university, which showcases effective task completion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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