In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with other people (family, friends, colleagues) are more important than anything else. Issues such as work and wealth take second place. Argue in support of this claim.

The increasing pressures of today’s money-driven world can often cause people to gravitate toward material items. But personal exuberance can never be achieved through things namely work success and wealth.
Although
these things may be nice ‘extras’, it is argued that healthy links with family, friends and colleagues are the true secrets to personal exhilaration.
This
will be shown by analyzing the often lonely lives of many wealthy celebrities
as well as
the advice from
historic
Correct word choice
historical
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legends.
To begin
with, an eminent career without close-knit affinity could ruin the growth of a well-known person.
For instance
, an exemplified matter can be clearly observed in the recent case of Johnny Deep whose divorce completely devastated his magical aura
together with
his prosperous activity. As a matter of fact, the handsome actor is ostracized by the whole society regardless of his wealth, which he has never faced up with in his previous marriage.
Therefore
, it is obvious that a well-being status plays an integral part in our existence that surpasses every other
as well as
creates fundamental bases for affluence.
On the other hand
, a similar ideology is, in many ways, always witnessed in Buddha's quotes regarding jubilation.
In particular
, he had been suffering to seek the meaning of
soul
Correct article usage
the soul
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including peace of mind after refusing a gorgeous kingdom’s throne which had no longer fulfilled him. His journey ended
up
Change preposition
apply
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with his conclusion about how important the relationship in personal fulfilment is
Hence
, the wide range of knowledge became one of the fundamental concepts for a multitude of religions
as well as
references for later well-known writers
such
as Luther King. On the whole, experiences from historical characters strengthen the role of neighbour liaison in bliss
while
weakening remaining influences. In conclusion, a qualifying life with other people is the most essential reason behind
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
satisfying enjoyment.
Thus
, it is better for people to maintain their optimism by building a healthy rapport with other companions.
Submitted by phuongthao.3822 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the given prompt and clearly supports the claim throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay with a clear introduction that previews the main points and a conclusion that summarizes the argument. Additionally, use cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

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