Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercises and sport ,more time with family and freinds,whereas now many suffer loniness and health problems. what are the cause of this and what are the solutions?

#experts #people #exercises #sport #time #freinds #loniness #health

Studies confirm that

Correct your spelling

elderly

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

used to be

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier as well as happier

as a result

of having more family

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

and doing more sports.

However

, the majority of old

people

are suffering from disease and

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

lonely.

This

essay discusses why

this

is happening and

also

explores the measures which can be taken to tackle these problems. There are two main reasons for

this

trend.

To begin

with, the modern lifestyle.undoubtedly, in the past

people

had more physical activities many of works were being done by hand. Take shopping as an example.

people

used to go to shopping malls and purchase their needs by themselves, whereas nowadays many shops

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

supermarkets sell their products online.

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

older

people

have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

activities like walking to the shops,buying items and

then

coming back home.One solution for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

is to provide more

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities like gyms in every neighbourhood for older

people

to use.

This

could lead to

bring

Change the verb form

bringing

show examples

more activity to

Correct your spelling

elderly's

elder's

Correct article usage

the eldery's

show examples

eldery's

Correct your spelling

elderly's

life. Another reason is

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

poor economical situation. What I mean by

this

is that in many countries more families have to work harder to meet their needs.In some

families

Add a comma

,families

show examples

even children have to work to gain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

normal prosperity.

This

tends to

having

Change the verb form

have

show examples

less time for children and grandchildren to visit their parents and grandparents. To tackle

this

issue older

people

can do more voluntary

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

or become a member of associations like NGOs.

This

could make them more sociable and make them feel more effective persons in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In conclusion, to reiterate

this

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

phenomenone

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

stems from two reasons. One of which is changes in modern life and another one is

economical

Add an article

the economical

show examples

situation.

Nevertheless

, these could be alleviated by more

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities and doing more voluntary

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. Should these get implemented, the older

people

will become healthier and happier just like

old

Change preposition

in old

show examples

times.

Submitted by prv.zareie on Sat Jul 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued that Narcotic addicts must be treated as perpetrators and immediately sent to prison whereas, others believe that they are medically ill and need to be treated in the hospital. Although putting offenders behind bars seems to be a quick and convenient method for the state to punish substance abusers. In my perspective providing physical care, emotional care and mental therapy is the most viable solution.
6.5
band
ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?
In the modern world, many youngsters spend a lot of time on their gadgets daily. In fact, it is not only due to the development of information technology but also to the introduction of video games, social networks and other applications for entertainment. In my opinion, though this tendency can benefit children, it has much more negative aspects. For example, smartphones are harmful to a person’s health. Moreover, electronic devices can be dangerous for psyche of their owners and other people.
6
band
The private car has greatly improved individual freedom of movement and has become a status symbol for many people. Yet the use of private cars has contributed to some of today's most serious problems. How can the use of private cars be reduced?
Nowadays, private vehicles have become a preferred mode of transportation among residents. This growing trend may be attributable to its benefits of enhanced mobility and a status symbol. Despite its advantages, the excessive use of personal cars poses one of the greatest challenges in the environment. Therefore, several strategies must be implemented to reverse this issue.
6
band
Space exploration cost taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?
In this digitally advanced world, many countries are spending millions on space research, and this amount mostly belongs to the treasury of the country which consists of the money earned from taxes. Although these achievements in astrophysics help to decode the unsolved questions of stars and the galaxy, but certainly, do not solve any issue related to the citizens.
5
band
Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the current situation, fewer individuals dedicate their time to leisure activities. Therefore, such activity can lead to the deterioration of relationships towards self and society.

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercises and sport ,more time with family and freinds,whereas now many suffer loniness and health problems. what are the cause of this and what are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

The private car has greatly improved individual freedom of movement and has become a status symbol for many people. Yet the use of private cars has contributed to some of today's most serious problems. How can the use of private cars be reduced?

Space exploration cost taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.