Some people think that getting degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, while others believe that it would be better go straight into work and get experience. Discus both sides and give your opinion.

Having a good
job
is a dream in everyone's life for a better future. It is believed by a section of society that everybody should have a
university
degree
to get a good
job
,
whereas
others thought that getting experience from any institution would be a better option.
According to
my opinion, a
university
degree
is so crucial and we should consider
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
a priority. There are multifarious reasons to support that a
university
degree
is a key way to secure a
job
.
Firstly
,
university
degrees could enhance the quality of student's life by creating some moral values during their education
as well as
putting them in a higher position in society. To illustrate, companies do not
similarly
treat the students who got a
degree
as those who did not.
For example
, at Advanced Chemical Industries, a pharmaceutical company, where I had been working for 3 years, the employees, who have post-graduation degrees are treated better than the only graduated employees.
In addition
, some institutions hire students who have completed their
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
degrees for higher positions of power like managers. They think a manager with a
university
degree
could lead the team very well
due to
their educational background.
On the other hand
, there are some logical reasons to support that good
work
knowledge would be better to get a good
job
. One of the obvious reasons is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
background experience would help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to solve the problems that they will face in their lives and there is no doubt that it will make the
work
much more efficient and increase productivity as well.
Furthermore
, even though they do not have any
work
knowledge could help them to get a good salary.
For instance
, sometimes managers might give the opportunity to employees to enhance their salaries by completing their assigned tasks perfectly. After finishing their
work
, they will get higher respect and salary. In conclusion, from the aforementioned discussion, though there are some benefits to having a good working background, I think that starting a college and finishing it up is a better option to find a good
job
rather than
work
experience.
Submitted by rumpa.bhowmick on

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task response
Good job addressing the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion. Make sure to provide a more balanced view of each side and offer deeper analysis of the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. However, consider using more transition words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and strengthen the overall structure of the essay.

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