IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #money #railways #roads
Some
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that the
construction
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
system
 should be invested more than roads by the government. I partially agree with
this
 idea. With the truth that
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 is on behalf of public
transportation
, the more public
transportation
 was built the less pollution will be made by
traffic
.
However
,
road
construction
also
 brings
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 side to the community. On one hand, it is definitely a truth that the more public
transportation
 is used by citizens, the less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air pollution,
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, and carbon dioxide
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 would cause.
Furthermore
, we can see that almost every government around the world encourages
Add an article
the resident
show examples
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 to make maximum use of train, subway or metro
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 in order to reduce
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hour.
Also
, the fuel consumption is going to be more effective when we take
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
 rather than
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
. The advantages
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
 are undoubtful.
On the other hand
,
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
system
 can only take care of some satellite cities around
urban
Add an article
the urban
an urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, which means it is almost impossible to make an enormous investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to build
such
 heavy
construction
.
Therefore
,
road
construction
 in rural areas is served
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 value
regarding to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
railway
.
Besides
, as we can see some severe weather events or
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
 make the
railway
system
 totally unrepairable. In order to maintain the lifeline of citizens, investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
road
construction
 should
also
 be needed. To sum up, I believe
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
system
 plays a vital role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, but
road
construction
 should not be overlooked. It depends on areas
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
traffic
 solutions are more suitable.
Submitted by sfwin100 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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