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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people's life, but artists such as musicians, painters and writers are still highly valued. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

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Nowadays, well-developed
technology
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 helps us change our lives.
However
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,
artists
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 still play crucial parts in our society.
This
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 essay discusses the importance of arts which
technology
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 does not have.
Artists
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 can record the history of humans through their works. Most of our histories are recorded by writers. Novels and paintings illustrate the life of our ancestors.
For example
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, many Chinese students learn the history of
Qin
Correct article usage
the Qin
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 dynasty through a novel called Dream of Red Chamber.
In addition
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, many handicrafts
also
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 provide information about the old ages. In the Louver museum, there are many plates indicating how lived it is in the mid-century. Researchers use these ancient artworks to introduce a beautiful history to us. Arts teach us how to feel our world. Abstract songs and paintings are meaningless for computers. But they will teach us to unite.
For example
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, militaries always use some songs to inspire their soldiers which will be more active with a good song.
In addition
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, people get different feelings with the same picture.
Thus
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 we can see the different expressions in Mona Lisa. Some of us just cannot see the smile on her face. And we often get different experiences with the same artwork with a different mood. In conclusion,
artists
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 are still valued in our society whiches
help
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helps
show examples
 us to record our histories and teach our children to feel the world.
However
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,
technology
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 does not have emotions that only
follows
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follow
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 the orders of humans. It cannot analyze the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 of people.
technology
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 cannot replace the creations of
artists
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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