IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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While most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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museums
Use synonyms
 collect money from
people
Use synonyms
 for entry, others become free of charge. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both the merits and vulnerable points of collecting admission
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 will be discussed while adding my own opinions.
First
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 of all, charging
people
Use synonyms
 for the pass to
museums
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 can have a significant positive impact on
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 budget.
For instance
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, in many developing countries, tourism is the major sector which gives regular income
in
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apply
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most of the time. Setting a price for admission, those nations will be able to not only upgrade the preservation system of
museums
Use synonyms
 but
also
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fulfill
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fulfil
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 other needs in different fields. Seemingly, another benefit that can be garnered from
this
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 manner is that only high-standard
people
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 with dignity can visit those buildings.
This
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 means that there will not be any inappropriate
behavior
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behaviour
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 since lower-standard
people
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 who can trigger various problems will not get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to
museums
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, if there is no charge,
people
Use synonyms
 from all walks of life can freely enter in and out so that there is likely to be undesirable damage to historical antiques.
On the other hand
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, admission
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 can act like a hindrance to those who are really intrigued
in
Change preposition
by
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 exquisite historical things.
For instance
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, if history enthusiasts let the chance for a visit to
museums
Use synonyms
 go due to financial issues, the result will be that the world may lose potential professionals in the fields of arts and history. In conclusion,
although
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 these are my mere opinions, I personally believe that charging
people
Use synonyms
 for the pass to
museums
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 can be better and can give more merits than not doing so.
However
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, the price must be fair and reasonable so that everyone will have the same opportunity and discrimination will become a thing of the past.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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