IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
Nowadays, poverty is
significant
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a significant
show examples
 concern of the
people
. Everybody must contribute outcome to
charities
. It seems to me that idea is impact
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
 and
emotion
Correct article usage
the emotion
show examples
 of
society
, and I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, supporting others provokes contentment, when anybody
facilitate
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facilitates
show examples
 peers to solve their problems in life. In
other word
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another word
other words
show examples
, by helping poor
people
 we will experience that we are useful.
For example
, sending water and food to
people
 who confront natural disasters like
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an earthquake
show examples
earthquake
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earthquakes
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 would reduce
people
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people's
show examples
 pressure
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pressure.
Second
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The second
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 positive fact is that increasing social security. It means that helping
jobless
Correct article usage
the jobless
show examples
 may prevent them to commit crimes and reduce
number
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the number
show examples
 of criminals.
For instance
, in developed countries
charities
 can create relevant job offers for young
people
.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
needy numbers decrease.
This
 leads us on to the final, participating with
charities
 can improve
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
. In fact,
NGO
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NGOs
show examples
 can improve patients’ financial problems by devoting the budget.
For example
,
expense
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the expense
show examples
 of cancer treatment is considerably high.
In addition
, there
are
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is
show examples
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of pressure on cancer patients and their families.
Therefore
,
NGO
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NGOs
show examples
 can pay parts of the cost. It is true that some assert paying money to
charities
is
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are
show examples
 not
appropriate
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an appropriate
show examples
 solution
,
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apply
show examples
 because governments will disregard
prosperity
Correct article usage
the prosperity
show examples
 of
poor
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the poor
show examples
 population. Despite
this
, it seems that all
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
society
 should promote dependents. To conclude, contributing
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
t o
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
charities
 has advantages
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pleasure, health development, calmness and high security in
society
.
This
 is not to say that only government have
duty
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a duty
the duty
show examples
 to about
this
 issue it is better
governments
Change preposition
for governments
show examples
 and
people
cooperate
Fix the infinitive
to cooperate
show examples
 to manage
this
 matter.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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