IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

1. Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that governments should allocate more funds towards schools and
education
Use synonyms
 than, towards
sports
Use synonyms
 and leisure.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that the government should invest more capital towards
education
Use synonyms
 due to
firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 being a human
right
Use synonyms
 and secondarily,
education
Use synonyms
 being a gateway to increased opportunities for an individual. The United nation’s declaration of human rights declares the
right
Use synonyms
 to an
education
Use synonyms
, as an imperative
right
Use synonyms
 of every individual, irrespective of the social or economical status of that individual. It is the Governments duty and responsibility to ensure that the citizens of their country have access to
education
Use synonyms
 and are not having to forgo
education
Use synonyms
 because of impediments
such
Linking Words
 as poverty. In countries like the United Kingdom, where
education
Use synonyms
 is entirely government funded, the literacy rate is 100%. Children are
therefore
Linking Words
 able to access their human rights even if they are poor due to the government’s investment in their
education
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
 and recreational activities build soft skills and encourage a more well-rounded personality they are not as essential as, gaining an
education
Use synonyms
. Governments spending more money on
education
Use synonyms
 would
also
Linking Words
 mean that every individual has increased opportunities in life which would result in the improvement of their quality of life in the long term.
Sports
Use synonyms
 and recreational activities,
in contrast
Linking Words
, would only have short-term beneficial impacts.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly evident in the fact that on average, individuals in India who have received an
education
Use synonyms
 go forth to increase their family income from 10 dollars per month to 400 dollars per month.
This
Linking Words
 increase in income
also
Linking Words
 directly increases the family life expectancy from 45 years to 65 years. In conclusion, it is imperative that the government spend more money on
education
Use synonyms
 in a country than on
sports
Use synonyms
 and recreational activities. So that every individual receives their human
right
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
 and is given the opportunity to change and improve the trajectory of their lives with it.
Submitted by khadija.i on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: