IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons r your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #meat #animals #consumption #r
Citizens need to avoid consuming
meat
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 animals for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 demands and it is cruel.
This
 essay totally
desagrees
Correct your spelling
disagrees
disagree
 with
this
 statement because consuming
meat
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
companies
' profit and jobs and it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
nutrients
Change preposition
with nutrients
show examples
 to survive. There are hundreds of
companies
 that produce
meat's
Change noun form
meat
show examples
products
 that offer thousands of jobs for
people
. Having huge demand for
animals'
Change noun form
animals
show examples
products
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
companies
 to
employee
Replace the word
employ
show examples
 citizens and provide them with health insurance and great benefits. More important, Beef mass production produces other
companies
 to lower their
products
 and society get
Add an article
the benefit
show examples
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 it. To illustrate, In
California
Add a comma
,California
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beef is affordable because
companies
 like
Walmar
Correct your spelling
Walmart
 and Vons have a
Tuesday's
Change noun form
Tuesday
show examples
 special that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
buy
meat
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a lower price. Another reason to keep eating animals' derivates is that
this
meat
 provides proteins and vitamins to the human body. It
is well know
Change the verb form
is well known
show examples
 that protein helps to build muscle and make
people
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 good. What is more important, the price of consuming protein is affordable and it has a simple way to
consume
Correct pronoun usage
itconsume
show examples
.
For instance
, The United States has one of the highest
rate
Change to a plural noun
rates
show examples
 of
people
 consuming
meat
 to improve
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
Also
, many doctors order to consume protein to heal wounds. To conclude,
this
 essay totally disagrees
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 not eating
animal's
Change noun form
animal
show examples
products
 because they help us to stay healthy and provide
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
show examples
 of jobs for
people
. On top of
this
,
people
 enjoy having
meat
 in their
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 food.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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