Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

#television #internet #people #development

It has been pointed out that becoming well-known and popular is no longer difficult for a massive majority of individuals owning to technological innovations

such

as televisions and the internet. Personally, I opine that

this

is a dreadful situation as it raises a huge number of detriments to young generations and individuals who want to be famous. First of all, people becoming famous easily is detrimental to youngsters’ development.

This

is because, in order to become popular, individuals always post their videos and articles with various kinds of

wired

Correct your spelling

weird

show examples

ideas to attract other people’s attention. As young children and adolescents

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

not

been

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mature mentally and emotionally, when they expose themselves to content filled with crimes or violence, they will be misled, which increases the risk of committing crimes,

thus

resulting in negative effects on their personal development.

For example

, a vast proportion of young criminals who are in jail state that they just would like to imitate

this

measure that they learned from the internet, and they genuinely did not know their behaviour was illegal, which is extremely harmful to their future lives.

Furthermore

, becoming famous easily brings out drawbacks to the people holding

this

ambition. The reason is that those who dream

to become

Change preposition

of becoming

show examples

well-known are normally unemployable and corpses in front of the screen

to wait

Change the verb form

waiting

show examples

to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

superstar

Fix the agreement mistake

superstars

show examples

. When their dreams have not been achieved for a long time, they will become angry and worried, which has a negative effect on their mental well-being.

For instance

, a significant percentage of parents whose children hope to become popular mention that their sons or daughters stay at home every day to create and post pictures or videos on Facebook or

Tik Tok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

show examples

However

, as their goals have not been attained, they are getting anxious and depressed. In conclusion, people may vary in their opinion about becoming well-known easily is a positive or negative circumstance,

while

I am of the opinion that it is definitely a disgraceful trend as it not only negatively affects young people’s development but

also

brings health issues to those who dream to become famous.

Submitted by strawberry.guan on Sun Jul 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Task Response: The response is somewhat relevant to the task, but it lacks depth and detailed analysis. It needs to address the prompt more comprehensively and provide a more balanced view on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and there is a need for clearer and more cohesive connections between the main points.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn't solve poverty. therefore developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers with examples.
Offering help to the needies is always a good virtue all human beings should uphold. However, how to best provide the assitance to those disadvantaged is deemed as a really complicated and difficult question. Rich countries often support the less developed countries with financial aids, yet their poverty issues still persist. Therefore, I strongly agree that the more developed countries should not offer help purely through pumping money.
5
band
Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
It is argued that putting restrictions on exploration is irrelevant and change of mankind is not possible. A school of thought holds perceptions that travelling should be banned to preserve local culture in some vicinities. The essey will elaborate on both points of view and the writer's opinion.
4.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
A discourse about culture in schools have resulted in various reponses, some people think it is fundamental to teach competitiveness. While others say they should be taught to cooperate and work in a team. From the deepest of my heart, my standpoint gravitate to the latter.
7.5
band
Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the contemporary era, the disappearance of many languages has increased rapidly. Therefore, the question of whether this trend leads to concerning issues or makes people’s lives smoother has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, this change allows individuals to lead simpler daily lives.
5
band
Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?
These days, A lot of youth know about international celebrities,and they don’t tend to be interested in historical people in their nation. This essay eill focus on the causes and solution to this social problems about young people.

Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn't solve poverty. therefore developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers with examples.

Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?