IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Govt. should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#govt #money #railways #roads
In the recent era, countries population is growing rapidly owing to that
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should focus on
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the rail line to connect with town and city people.
Thus
, few of them think of money would to spend on the streets. we will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 in the following paragraphs with relevant examples and with my opinion in conclusion. On the one hand, Nowadays,
railways
 are more important in high population countries due to
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
block by over traffic as well as too expensive
road
 transportation in comparison to the railway. Thousands of people travel by train and reach their destination with less time and expense.
For example
, Delhi state populaces are
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 a lot, so their
railways
Change to a genitive case
railway's
railways'
show examples
 uses are compulsory their folk. so helps
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to reduce pollution and make
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 country economy.
On the other hand
, track development is too expensive
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is not possible to government makes rail line on every corner but roads are cheap
instead
 of
railways
. regime
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 a lot of budget for
railways
.
For instance
,
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 can do more open
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 where
railways
 are not possible with good and strong quality
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
.
Likewise
, in
a rural areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
rural areas
a rural area
show examples
 is not possible to make
railways
, so
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
 has to focus on
Add an article
the highway
show examples
highway
Fix the agreement mistake
highways
show examples
 to connect big cities but can be possible
railways
Change preposition
for railways
show examples
 to connect one city to another urban city. To conclude, both are more important to developing countries,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 government has to focus on
railways
 because nowadays roads are available at every corner but not
railways
. so I think
railways
 are a must for a country.
Submitted by popatmarkad90 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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