IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently visited a department store. One member of staff at the store was very helpful to you, and you want to tell the store manager about this. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter say which part of the store you visited describe how this member of staff was helpful to you say what you would like the manager to do

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my satisfaction regarding your crew member and services. Actually, I wanted to buy a new Apple phone, and your assistant helped me a lot with excellent guidance. My friend suggested your electronic department store which is located in Toronto city, it is not only a big store but
also
Linking Words
 has a variety of electronic gadgets.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one of your team members assisted me regarding my cell phone
as well as
Linking Words
 he told me how to operate it and how I could make an iCloud ID there to save my all important data. Apart from that, the staff were so polite to me and they have many qualities
such
Linking Words
 as communication and cooperation skills.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, your team member offered me a 10% discount because of Victory Day, He described every single feature of the mobile phone in detail which is a gold key for me.
In addition
Linking Words
, I intend to suggest that it would be good if you give a special treat to your staff member, he will be happy or you give him a card. I am really grateful for his kindness and help, it was a nice experience. Your faithful , Dalbir Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

greeting and closing
Add a specific greeting like 'Dear Manager,' at the start and a closing like 'Sincerely,' before your name.
single idea per paragraph
Make sure each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. For example, separate the part about the store and the staff member's help into different paragraphs.
logical structure
Try to use simple and clear sentences to make your points stand out better. Avoid long sentences where possible.
strong expression
You expressed your gratitude clearly and showed a good understanding of the experience you had.
specific details
You provided specific details about how the staff member helped you, which makes your letter more persuasive.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: