In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence #reason

There is no doubt that these days that competition become very hard whereas that

life

is not easier like before and

parents

must provide a decent

life

for their

children

. The question is, should both

parents

work

to help their

children

? In

this

essay, I going to write my opinion and draw my conclusion. In terms of advantages,

parents

must

work

out in order to make their child live a good

life

and fulfil all the requirements of

life

for them. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that competition is become very hard

also

, making money is harder than before and studies show that in some developed countries, newborn costs around 1000$ in the

first

five years of his

life

. To illustrate, if the

parents

work

in their own jobs that will be effected in

children

hence

, the

children’s

Change noun form

children

show examples

will feel that they are in

productivity

Correct article usage

a productivity

show examples

area.

In other words

, when

parents

work

and make money

this

will be impacted their

children

and makes the family stable financially.

However

, there are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

huge issues if both

parents

work

out.

Firstly

, there is no parental care for

children

In other words

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

children

can not do well in their curricula, and

this

will

be influences

Change the verb form

be influenced

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our future generation.

Secondly

, because of the parent’s control over their

children

will have bad friends and may commit crimes and waste their future. In conclusion, there is fierce competition for a living but, there are multiple choices to making money with focus and live your child

Submitted by alruhaimi6 on Sun Jul 31 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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