IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence #reason
There is no doubt that these days that competition become very hard whereas that
life
 is not easier like before and
parents
 must provide a decent
life
 for their
children
. The question is, should both
parents
work
 to help their
children
? In
this
 essay, I going to write my opinion and draw my conclusion. In terms of advantages,
parents
 must
work
 out in order to make their child live a good
life
 and fulfil all the requirements of
life
 for them. The main reason given to support
this
 claim is that competition is become very hard
also
, making money is harder than before and studies show that in some developed countries, newborn costs around 1000$ in the
first
 five years of his
life
. To illustrate, if the
parents
work
 in their own jobs that will be effected in
children
hence
, the
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
 will feel that they are in
productivity
Correct article usage
a productivity
show examples
 area.
In other words
, when
parents
work
 and make money
this
 will be impacted their
children
 and makes the family stable financially.
However
, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
huge issues if both
parents
work
 out.
Firstly
, there is no parental care for
children
.
In other words
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
children
 can not do well in their curricula, and
this
 will
be influences
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our future generation.
Secondly
, because of the parent’s control over their
children
,
children
 will have bad friends and may commit crimes and waste their future. In conclusion, there is fierce competition for a living but, there are multiple choices to making money with focus and live your child
Submitted by alruhaimi6 on

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