Some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children are the future of the nation, and technology is a tool that can cater
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
development
Use synonyms
of a country. In the edge-cutting era, mobiles have become a necessity
instead
Linking Words
of
Correct your spelling
luxury
Correct article usage
a luxary
show examples
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
for many.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
has brought a detrimental effect on the young generation who spend ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time with it squandering their time. Clearly, both the pros and cons are prominently visible
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
gadget.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
of technology from a young age has prepared the children for a competitive future and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
set high goals. In the current, era parents often expose their children
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
phones from an early to compensate for the time that they are unable to give them due to their busy life.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the fact that it has significant side effects can not be overlooked.
Initially
Linking Words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
Correct your spelling
generation
genration
Correct your spelling
generation
enjoyed playing outdoor games which helped in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
physical and mental
development
Use synonyms
. The health of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation has become a
Correct your spelling
concern
consern
Correct your spelling
concern
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
countries. For
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
instant
, if a child spends most of his day playing games it hinders
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
development
Use synonyms
, which even leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
patience
Change preposition
of patience
show examples
and
equinimity
Correct your spelling
equanimity
. So,
prolong
Wrong verb form
prolonged
show examples
exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
likely
likly
Correct your spelling
likely
to
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
problems with the
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
development
Use synonyms
of an individual.
Smartphone
Add an article
The smartphone
A smartphone
show examples
is an endless world, that has no boundaries in terms of knowledge, which
is
Change the verb form
also comes
show examples
also
Linking Words
comes with demerits. Teenagers are generally unsupervised when
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
using mobiles,
early
Correct word choice
and early
show examples
Correct your spelling
exposure
exposoure
Correct your spelling
exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
many adult
Correct your spelling
stuff
stuf
Correct your spelling
stuff
is likely to have a hazardous effect on the young brains.
For example
Linking Words
, recent years have
wittnessed
Correct your spelling
witnessed
the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
straggering
Correct your spelling
staggering
result, when a game called blue whales was trending due which lives were
also
Linking Words
lost. In the
Correct your spelling
beginning
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
, people played for fun but when the tasks became immoral they had already lost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control,
thus
Linking Words
leading to awful situations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, early prolonged hours
use
Change preposition
of use
show examples
of mobiles when the brain is not fully developed to distinguish
Correct your spelling
correct
corret
Correct your spelling
correct
and wrong is likely to cause problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To recapitulate, smartphones can provide
head
Correct article usage
a head
show examples
start and working parents can keep offsprings busy but the negative effects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
far more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the positivities as it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
growth of the future generation
along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
the lack of boundary the knowledge
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
has caused disasters in
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
to continue.
Submitted by Fatima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: