IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Since the technology is cheaply accessible, parents find it convenient to engage their children with the same. What problem does it cause and what solution can you suggest?

#technology #parents #children
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There
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
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 that technological advancements are increasing significantly day by day so
many
Change preposition
for many
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 parents
this
Linking Words
 development can cause adverse effects on their children.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, technological vehicles are more convenient and flexible
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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so most parents
thinking about
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many negative sides and the young generation will be impacted negatively. I will examine both two sides in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the most
benefits
Correct word choice
important benefits
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 is that technological development can be useful to vast people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Such
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 as people who want any information about something, can access it anywhere or anytime via the internet directly.
Especially the
Rephrase
The
show examples
 young generation
like
Replace the word
likes
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 spending their leisure time with laptops or telephones
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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 online games or
texting
Wrong verb form
text
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 messages to friends.
In addition
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, a teenager may desire to connect with their close friend via Facebook or Twitter so
this
Linking Words
 case has various benefits for all of
youthful
Replace the word
youth
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.
On the other hand
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, many societies and governments believe that some technological vehicles or sites must be restricted to the young generation. Because they can be affected negatively
due to
Linking Words
 imitating terrible characters in games.
Therefore
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, many parents agree with
this
Linking Words
 position
due to
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 numerous drawbacks that might impact their children's life expectations.
Also
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, spending
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 time on the internet
has been let
Wrong verb form
can cause
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 some important diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, eyesight, heart disease
and
Correct word choice
apply
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physical issues etc.
To sum up
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, in recent times,
however
Linking Words
 many individuals should follow their children's activities on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 or in technological vehicles despite their complaints. I think that developing skills in
this
Linking Words
 area can be used effectively in people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by mehmetrustuaksoy103 on

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