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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement #reason
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Some people believe the state should finance social
services
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 like retirement pensions for adults
instead
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 of spending its budget on public
services
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 like agent needs while others say individuals should save their funds during their working years.
This
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 essay will delve into the upcoming paragraph and
subsequently
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 will explore perspective in turns. On the one hand, I believe the state should definitely allocate a large part of its budget to public
services
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. The economic sector determines the overall quality of life, ensuring the basic sector
such
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 as schools, hospitals and roads are available to all the citizens irrespective of their income and social status. Public
services
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 are the primary needs of
society
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 and
thus
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 need proper funding.
For example
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, the absence of medicine in any country will create significant problems. That's why the authority should adequately finance public
services
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 in the
first
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 place. Becoming old is a normal thing for everyone
however
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 younger citizens participate an important role in the country's economic growth.
On the other hand
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, retired adults are a vital part of every family. Who encourage their close ones  as well as provide their experiences. I think adults must save their funds during their working years.
However
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 old people
also
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 are an integrated part of
society
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. Some ancient could save their money but most of the old
society
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 could not save money because of high expenses. I think the regime should provide free medicines and treatments for low-income citizens.
For instance
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, Sri Lanka provides free hospital   treatments for people. In conclusion, after a thorough analysis of the topic, I believe the ministry should allocate its budget for argent needs.
However
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 old population are
also
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 a crucial unit of
society
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. I think the government should implement a long-term concept for
this
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 problem
thus
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 if not it becomes a huge impact on their life.
Submitted by Sasha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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