IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centers is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centers #government #community #spirit #measures
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In the modern world, promoting a superb
community
Use synonyms
 soul is a well-discussed topic and it is advisable for the government to invest
local
Change preposition
in local
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amenities
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 and facilities
such
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 as leisure
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
This
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 essay will explain my idea based on two reasons. In my eyes, there are many fantastic ways for authorities to bring up good mental health and
community
Use synonyms
 spirit for
people
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.
However
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, the most imperative way would be
investment
Add an article
an investment
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 in local
amenities
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such
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 as parks, museums, gyms and spa
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Because nowadays,
people
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 bear the burden and they need more facilities to refresh their brain.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 in
China
Add a comma
,China
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 the government have determined
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 budget to make these
amenities
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.
As a result
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, Chinese citizens have superb
community
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
spirit
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sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
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 in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 with others. The other reason probably is the breaking down of
human
Correct article usage
the human
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community
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 which the government
concerned
Add a missing verb
is concerned
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 about. it is
clear
Add an article
a clear
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 investment in local
amenities
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a superb gathering for individuals to have social connections and meet new
people
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 is an imperative way to foster good
community
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 spirit. Examples are ranges from complexes to bars and restaurants. In technological societies, there are many estimates those
affect
Replace the word
effect
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on
Change preposition
apply
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a superb
community
Use synonyms
 soul. An example can be seen as festivals on
Add an article
the street
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street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
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 or various campaigns. It helps
people
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 to catch up
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other.
For example
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 food festivals or
colors
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colours
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 festivals. The other measure would be organizing public matches between individuals it
contribute
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contributes
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 to gathering same ages around and meet up with each other.so it leads to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
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community
Use synonyms
 spirit In conclusion, investing in local
amenities
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 is a great way to foster a superb
community
Use synonyms
 soul but there is no
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 other measures are not imperative.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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