Investment in local amenities such as leisure centers is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In the modern world, promoting a superb
community
soul is a well-discussed topic and it is advisable for the government to invest
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
amenities
and facilities
such
as leisure
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
This
essay will explain my idea based on two reasons. In my eyes, there are many fantastic ways for authorities to bring up good mental health and
community
spirit for
people
.
However
, the most imperative way would be
investment
Add an article
an investment
show examples
in local
amenities
such
as parks, museums, gyms and spa
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Because nowadays,
people
bear the burden and they need more facilities to refresh their brain.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
in
China
Add a comma
,China
show examples
the government have determined
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
budget to make these
amenities
.
As a result
, Chinese citizens have superb
community
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
with others. The other reason probably is the breaking down of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
community
which the government
concerned
Add a missing verb
is concerned
show examples
about. it is
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
investment in local
amenities
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a superb gathering for individuals to have social connections and meet new
people
.
Moreover
,
this
is an imperative way to foster good
community
spirit. Examples are ranges from complexes to bars and restaurants. In technological societies, there are many estimates those
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a superb
community
soul. An example can be seen as festivals on
Add an article
the street
show examples
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
or various campaigns. It helps
people
to catch up
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
other.
For example
food festivals or
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
festivals. The other measure would be organizing public matches between individuals it
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
to gathering same ages around and meet up with each other.so it leads to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
community
spirit In conclusion, investing in local
amenities
is a great way to foster a superb
community
soul but there is no
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
other measures are not imperative.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: