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Band 5

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centers is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centers #government #community #spirit #measures
In the modern world, promoting a superb
community
 soul is a well-discussed topic and it is advisable for the government to invest
local
Change preposition
in local
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amenities
 and facilities
such
 as leisure
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
This
 essay will explain my idea based on two reasons. In my eyes, there are many fantastic ways for authorities to bring up good mental health and
community
 spirit for
people
.
However
, the most imperative way would be
investment
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an investment
show examples
 in local
amenities
such
 as parks, museums, gyms and spa
centers
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centres
show examples
. Because nowadays,
people
 bear the burden and they need more facilities to refresh their brain.
For
example
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,example
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 in
China
Add a comma
,China
show examples
 the government have determined
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 budget to make these
amenities
.
As a result
, Chinese citizens have superb
community
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
 in
compare
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comparison
show examples
 with others. The other reason probably is the breaking down of
human
Correct article usage
the human
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community
 which the government
concerned
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is concerned
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 about. it is
clear
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a clear
show examples
 investment in local
amenities
provide
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provides
show examples
 a superb gathering for individuals to have social connections and meet new
people
.
Moreover
,
this
 is an imperative way to foster good
community
 spirit. Examples are ranges from complexes to bars and restaurants. In technological societies, there are many estimates those
affect
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effect
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on
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apply
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a superb
community
 soul. An example can be seen as festivals on
Add an article
the street
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street
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streets
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 or various campaigns. It helps
people
 to catch up
each
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with each
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 other.
For example
 food festivals or
colors
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colours
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 festivals. The other measure would be organizing public matches between individuals it
contribute
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contributes
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 to gathering same ages around and meet up with each other.so it leads to
improve
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improving
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community
 spirit In conclusion, investing in local
amenities
 is a great way to foster a superb
community
 soul but there is no
mean
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means
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 other measures are not imperative.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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