Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,Some people say that
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
time
for
using Change preposition
apply
Add an article
a computer
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
everyday
can cause more negative than positive effects on our Replace the word
every day
children
.In my opinion,i
totally agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement.
Firstly
,children
's eyes from a young age are having maximum visual acuity. If using computers
many times in a day,specially
playing Replace the word
especially
Add an article
the game
a game
game
will cause eye damage, Fix the agreement mistake
games
children
will be prone to myopia and get many similar eye diseases. Vision will be limited and they can Correct word choice
and children
Correct your spelling
no
not
longer see far, Correct your spelling
no
this
will affect Correct pronoun usage
them into
into
adulthood and old age.Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, using a computer
a lot will limit the development of thinking, only when children
play computer
games too much, all children
's thoughts and actions are
directed at the game, making the child's imagination Unnecessary verb
apply
be
restricted and lose focus on real learning. That makes the development of thinkingUnnecessary verb
apply
as well as creativity of
Add the comma(s)
, as well as creativity of children,
children
are
significantly reduced.On another hand,increased risk of obesity.Unnecessary verb
apply
This
is the most common harm when children
use computers
. When children
are eating or have just finished eating, children
have not had time
to digest food or exercise but have sat down to use computers
for too long can lead to obesity for children
. Because the foods they just eat, especially the fatty foods that don't work to be digested, will accumulate in the body and lead to weight gain quickly. Specially to mention the impact on children
's practical life skills
,learning community skills
is a necessary element to create success for a child, but if addicted to computers
children
will no longer be interested in learning community skills
.
The question is if we limit children
's exposure to computers
or do not use computers
when they are young, what will be good?Children
will have more time
to spend with relatives and family, explore
and develop more real-life Correct word choice
and explore
skills
.Specially
, they will not suffer from eye problems Replace the word
Especially
such
as nearsightedness...the vision is always guaranteed 10/10 until they grow up.
In conclusion,we should not let our children
using
Wrong verb form
use
computer
many times Fix the agreement mistake
computers
in
a day and Change preposition
apply
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
time
for
using Change preposition
apply
Add an article
a computer
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
everyday
can cause more negative than positive effects on our Replace the word
every day
children
,specially
their eyes.Replace the word
especially
Submitted by jakedth162 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.