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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workplace. To what extenr do you agree or disagree?

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As compared to the past time individuals live for more
years
Use synonyms
 than they used to. A segment of the community tends to believe that due to the factor of old maturity, the population should not stop working.
This
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 essay strongly disagrees with
this
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 statement because it will lead to unemployment among youngsters, less efficient effort and outdated ideas by the grey-haired crowd. Unemployment is the main concern due to which lay-offs of the elder community are necessary. To elaborate, there are numerous graduate and postgraduate candidates who are looking for jobs.
Although
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 companies prefer mature humanity with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience, they are neglecting fresh talents as the young population can bring newer concepts and ideas
in contrast
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 to an older public who has only outdated and traditional ways of doing the job.
For instance
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, India is the
second
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 in the highest populated country in which more than half of its population is unemployed and
that is
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 because folk above 60 have still occupied the job.
Moreover
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, the endeavour capacity of the public
also
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 declined with respect to maturity and the elderly masses are more sophisticated
as a result
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 they want to spend their upcoming
years
Use synonyms
 devoting their time towards their hobbies and with their grandchildren. Once they have spent 50 or 60
years
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 of their life working, they often tend to get bored with their usual task which leads to less productivity in their work.
Additionally
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, at an older ,life they want to explore new things which they were not able to do because of their family responsibilities and
also
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 show their affection towards their children and grandchildren. To exemplify, according to a study it is stated that after 50
years
Use synonyms
 of life the efficiency and effectiveness of the task decreases. To sum up, it could be said that a country's development is only possible if the unemployment rate will decline which will happen only if young candidates are preferred more that will
also
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 give time to the elderly public to devote towards their hobbies and will result in more productive performance that will be done by fresh candidates.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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