The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

There is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opinion that
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
and a number of people
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
money
Correct quantifier usage
much money
show examples
on
prevelent
Correct your spelling
prevalent
celebrations
in the country
such
as
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
year or other
festivals
. It seems to me that the idea
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is mentioned above
completely
Add a missing verb
is completely
show examples
unacceptable.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will be shown why
this
argument is
inconvinent
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
for me
through
Change preposition
for
show examples
two main reasons. To
begining
Correct your spelling
begin
with, people have been spending very much time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working in order to earn
money
and live appropriate life conditions involve possessing a
Correct your spelling
beautiful
beatiful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
house, car or clothes. Due to working hard and hours which pass for
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
,
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
are seeking
entertainement
Correct your spelling
entertainment
opportunities for leaving stress that they have been exposed in work.
Therefore
, these
festivals
or
celebrations
supply a
relexing
Correct your spelling
relaxing
time to working
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For example
, a white-collar who goes job
Correct your spelling
everyday
eveyday
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every
and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to find
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enjoyable activity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has a tendency to attend
festivals
and spend
money
on diverse tools.
Thus
,
invidual
Correct your spelling
individual
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
to national
celebrations
necessary for people
such
as workers.
Second
of all,
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nobody
show examples
no body
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nobody
show examples
would dispute the fact that the state not only has responsibility
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
building roads and
barages
Correct your spelling
barrages
barges
garages
or protecting citizens
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
should support cultural activities
inclode
Correct your spelling
include
particularly common national days. Because
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
of
celebrations
Fix the agreement mistake
celebration
show examples
provide
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provides
show examples
national uniting, the governments
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
show examples
to hold
festivals
.
For instance
, 4
july
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July
show examples
when is
independent
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an independent
the independent
show examples
day of the USA, has been celebrated by citizens of
USA
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the USA
show examples
contributing
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
president
precedent
presedent
Correct article usage
the presedent
show examples
.
Hence
,
festivals
or
celebrations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
held by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
could not be considered a waste of
money
. To
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summarise
show examples
summerize
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summarize
show examples
, evaluation of
expence
Correct your spelling
expense
on
festivals
which are celebrated by state or person
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is not logical for me.
Submitted by myurt4848 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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