IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it's better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

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It is often argued that the government should
finance
Use synonyms
 free
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
instead
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 of spending its budget on
education
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
. I believe that the state's investment in
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
plays
show examples
 a very important role. I think
education
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a crucial
part
Use synonyms
 of
society
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will delve into the upcoming paragraph and
subsequently
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 will explore perspective in turn. On the one hand, the ministry should definitely allocate a large
part
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 of its budget
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 free
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
. The economic sector determines the
overall
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 quality of life, ensuring the basic services,
such
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 as hospital buildings, doctors and medicines are available to all the citizens irrespective of their income and social status.
Society
Use synonyms
needs
Add the particle
needs to
show examples
 satisfy public services.
Thus
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 proper funds are needed.
For instance
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, the absence of medicine in any country will create significant problems. That's why the authority should adequately
finance
Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
care
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 in the first place.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 and
culture
Use synonyms
 are not a waste of money.
Education
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 is doing prominent
part
Use synonyms
 of
society
Use synonyms
. Which helps children's mental development and
also
Linking Words
culture
Use synonyms
 is an integral
part
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 of
society
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.
Culture
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 helps people's minds
relaxation
Replace the word
relax
show examples
 and
amusement
Replace the word
amuse
show examples
. I think the government should implement long-term concepts for system change
education
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. It is not logical to neglect
education
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 and
culture
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.
In addition
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, we can live without
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 activities but we
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 live without medicine.
Thus
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 The state must reinforce the strongest
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 system In conclusion, after a thorough analysis
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 topic, the ministry should allocate a large
part
Use synonyms
 of
finance
Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
. I think the government should not neglect and
finance
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
. Since they
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a vital
part
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fundamental human right
  • Accessibility
  • Equality
  • Health services
  • Medical bankruptcy
  • Innovative treatments
  • Stifle innovation
  • Allocate
  • Enlightened society
  • Well-rounded society
What to do next:
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