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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are some
people
Use synonyms
 who say that public
health
Use synonyms
 will be increased just by raising the number of
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities. Other
people
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, say that improving public
health
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 needs other measures. It is true that
sports
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 equipment can encourage
people
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, but there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
show examples
 more effective ways that can be done to improve the level of
health
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 and fitness in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society. There are some advantages associated with increasing
sports
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 facilities in cities.
To begin
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 with,
peoplepeople
Correct your spelling
people people
people-people
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these amenities easily. It means the standard of their convenience will be improved, so they will encourage to do exercise.
For example
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, A
full-equipped
Correct your spelling
fully-equipped
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 gym nearby can entice many individuals to go
to
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apply
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there and get some exercise.
As a result
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, physical activity can be increased among the local
people
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 due to
this
Linking Words
 practice.
However
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, for improving the level of public
health
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, in my view, the government should acknowledge all population to have a
balaced
Correct your spelling
balanced
 healthy diet.
Firstly
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, the human body needs nutritious foods to be fit and these substances can help
people
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 to live longer
although
Linking Words
 fast food and many unhealthy foods can affect everyone who
use
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uses
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 them severely.
Secondly
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, If
people
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 have enough information about the risks of eating high-fat substances, and being less active, they will change their minds and try to be fit.
For instance
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, there should be more restaurants that serve fine food. by doing these practices,
people
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 will be more fit. In conclusion, I believe that having
sports
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 equipment and a balanced diet are factors that can help everyone to be healthy. The government is responsible to educate them and provide related facilities.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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