Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Opinions differ as to whether
students
should be learning in school until they are 18.
Although
attending school to 18 would help people to have a general knowledge of the real world, I disagree that it is compulsory for everyone to study. Admittedly, the education system will equip learners with some benefits. One of them is that formal studies provide children with basic learning resources
such
as academic knowledge for tertiary education or practical insights for future occupations.
Therefore
, they are fully prepared for real-life situations which are immensely useful for climbing the career ladder.
For example
,
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high schools afford
students
presentation skills that are not only good for their studies but
also
for their
job
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. Another is that high schoolers’ curriculum contains moral lessons which may prevent any wrongdoing later in life.
As a result
, they would be more aware of their actions and behaviours as they were taught not to violate the laws,
hence
reducing crimes.
However
,
students
who are not as academically talented or not interested in pursuing higher education would make schooling financially wasteful or feel resentful. Regarding the former, the ones who don't have academic ability might drop out as they find studying tedious and irrelevant to their life.
Consequently
,
this
practice would act as a financial burden to their family or the government that funded their studying because of their quitting. In terms of the latter, they can have disruptive behaviours as they are bored of the school’s schedule,
hence
affecting other learners.
That is
to say, their actions may influence other people to do the same, potentially harming the whole society. In conclusion, even though forcing kids to learn till 18 may indeed bring certain advantages, It causes deleterious effects on their family budget and other
students
. Based on the aforementioned arguments, I contend that school shouldn't be compulsory.
Submitted by echip07 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and offers relevant ideas to support the argument. However, the example used to support the argument could be more varied and detailed to fully demonstrate the point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates logical sequencing of ideas and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is a need for more varied transition and linking words to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Neglect
  • Abuse
  • Supervision
  • Anti-bullying measures
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Dominance
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Digital devices
  • Enforcement
  • Cultural tolerance
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