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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many of today’s most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #cooperation
In recent years, the modern
world
 had numerous issues with human beings.
Moreover
, these obstacles must be solved by national cooperation. I will explain with two sides and elaborate in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, nowadays, many countries have been facing numerous problems with living conditions.
For example
, the
world
 population are increasing the current days,
therefore
, they need more
food
 for their living conditions.
This
 case can be
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital trouble in people's lives because of the fact that
food
 can cause to die numerous societies and animals. Another issue is that climate change is an essential factor for human beings these days. Many individuals can be adversely affected nature by
living
Correct word choice
and living
show examples
 conditions. To illustrate, using vehicles is impacting negatively
such
 as owning cars has ensured gas emissions so their choices are a major effect on the environment. On the other side
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 government and national companies have been establishing too many cooperations
due to
 solving vital obstacles during the period.
For instance
, producing
food
 can be increased by farmers but they are supported by authorities and big national companies and
also
 production period is regulated by experts after the
world
 population can access numerous
food
 anywhere or at any time. One of the greatest solutions is that climate change must say that any of population
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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know that it is important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trouble
to
Change preposition
apply
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them
thus
 they have some methods of solving
this
 issue and many societies can learn how to deal with
this
 case and what we do solve in
this
 case.
To sum up
, urgent troubles must be known all over the
world
 populations and they should learn how to impact their life drastically.
In addition
, whole societies and companies must be supported by campaigns which make use in order to more convenient life and environment. From my position, the entire
world
 would pay attention to their usage and effects on nature.
Submitted by mehmetrustuaksoy103 on

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task response
The essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic, but the ideas are not consistently organized. The arguments lack development and coherence, resulting in a limited response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are partially presented, but they lack clarity and coherence. The body paragraphs do not flow logically, and the ideas are not effectively linked.
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