IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe that there are other alternatives ways of reducing crime. Discuss your opinion?

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternatives
Crime
 is an issue that almost all counties in the world
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to deal with. While there are several
Correct your spelling
arguments
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 on how to reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of crimes being
Correct your spelling
committed
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
, it is clear that steps must be taken to
further
 decrease
crime
 and keep the community safe.
This
 essay argues that there are alternatives
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reducing
crime
 other than simply increasing time served in prison,
such
 as improving the educational
Correct your spelling
system
sytem
Correct your spelling
system
 to help
people
 secure better jobs, as well as providing rehabilitation for persons who have
Correct your spelling
committed
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 a
crime
.
Firslty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
, a lot of
people
 end up doing illegal deeds because of financial difficulties. Right now, a lot of aspiring workers cannot find a job because they lack certain educational attainments.
Therefore
, life circumstances force them to do
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 to simply survive everyday life. In order to prevent
this
, having a better system that allows more individuals to study at a more affordable price can help them land a job much more easily.
In addition
, rehabilitation programs that help criminals should be more prevalent in order to lessen
crime
 rates. As many crimes are caused by repeat offenders, criminals need aid in order to deter them from doing
crime
 again, especially after being set free from prison.
For instance
,
reformees
Correct your spelling
reformers
reforms
 who help troubled children who do minor
misdemeanors
Change the spelling
misdemeanours
show examples
 frequently report that these children do not repeat
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 bad actions again. By making giving these
people
 a
second
 chance, they are less incentivizes to go back to a life of
crime
 again. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there are other ways of reducing
crime
 rates other than by simply increasing
jail
Correct article usage
the jail
show examples
 time of inmates. Things
such
 as providing better education, as well as reformational programs can decrease the
Correct your spelling
likelihood
likehood
Correct your spelling
likelihood
 of
people
 doing criminalistic
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
Submitted by kennethlim925 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: