IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe that there are other alternatives ways of reducing crime. Discuss your opinion?

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternatives
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Crime
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 is an issue that almost all counties in the world
has
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have
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 to deal with. While there are several
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arguments
arguements
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arguments
 on how to reduce the
amount
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number
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 of crimes being
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committed
commited
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committed
, it is clear that steps must be taken to
further
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 decrease
crime
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 and keep the community safe.
This
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 essay argues that there are alternatives
in
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to
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 reducing
crime
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 other than simply increasing time served in prison,
such
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 as improving the educational
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system
sytem
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system
 to help
people
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 secure better jobs, as well as providing rehabilitation for persons who have
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committed
commited
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committed
 a
crime
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.
Firslty
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Firstly
First
, a lot of
people
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 end up doing illegal deeds because of financial difficulties. Right now, a lot of aspiring workers cannot find a job because they lack certain educational attainments.
Therefore
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, life circumstances force them to do
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crime
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crimes
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 to simply survive everyday life. In order to prevent
this
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, having a better system that allows more individuals to study at a more affordable price can help them land a job much more easily.
In addition
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, rehabilitation programs that help criminals should be more prevalent in order to lessen
crime
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 rates. As many crimes are caused by repeat offenders, criminals need aid in order to deter them from doing
crime
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 again, especially after being set free from prison.
For instance
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,
reformees
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reformers
reforms
 who help troubled children who do minor
misdemeanors
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misdemeanours
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 frequently report that these children do not repeat
their
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they're
they are
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 bad actions again. By making giving these
people
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 a
second
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 chance, they are less incentivizes to go back to a life of
crime
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 again. In
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conclusion
conclsion
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conclusion
, there are other ways of reducing
crime
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 rates other than by simply increasing
jail
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the jail
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 time of inmates. Things
such
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 as providing better education, as well as reformational programs can decrease the
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likelihood
likehood
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likelihood
 of
people
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 doing criminalistic
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activities
activites
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activities
.
Submitted by kennethlim925 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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