Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals claim that if students work part-time during their courses, they will have more chances to improve their skills.

However

Linking Words

, some people assert that

pupils

Use synonyms

need to focus on their studies rather than working for an employer. In my opinion, it depends on the person

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who can cope with

such

Linking Words

a challenge. On the one hand,

while

Linking Words

some adults encourage students to work

Change preposition

during

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

period of study, they insist that

pupils

Use synonyms

can develop their social skills.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is necessary for everyone to interact with strange people.

Hence

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

individuals are not able to predict others' manners, they need to learn how to behave with them in different situations.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, they will realise that a client, as an example, is not supposed to deal with them equally as their close friends or

relatives

Punctuation problem

relatives,

show examples

though.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some women and men think that working during the study has more disadvantages than benefits,

such

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as lack of sleep and boredom.

For example

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while

Linking Words

some universities and schools are too

demanded

Replace the word

demand

show examples

pupils

Use synonyms

have to prepare lots of assignments for each lesson.

Therefore

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, if they are occupied and responsible for another task outside the school, they will not have sufficient time to do their

home works

Use the right word

homework

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, they probably need to stay awake during the night and might lose some points

as a consequence

Linking Words

of boredom. In conclusion, some adults argue that students can be more sophisticated

particularly

Punctuation problem

, particularly

show examples

in their social

lives

Punctuation problem

lives,

show examples

if they work part-time,

whereas

Linking Words

others claim that it causes some health issues. In my opinion, it would be a wise idea if

pupils

Use synonyms

had a chance to perform in the real world and interact with strangers.

neda.khn88

Aug 2, 2022

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Task Response

Be clear on your view in the first line and say it again at the end.

Coherence

Make each paragraph start with a idea line that shows what you will say.

Content

Give one or two simple examples and show how they prove your point.

Grammar/Lexis

Fix small form rules: use homework as one word, not 'home works'; check spell and word form.

Grammar

Use short and plain sentences to stay easy to read and not make mistakes.

Content

The essay shows two sides and a view.

Coherence

Parts are linked so the flow is ok.

Progress

The end says what the writer thinks.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

valuable work experience
enhance their resume
academic qualifications
practical experience
time management
communication skills
problem-solving
financial stress
educational resources
job prospects
academic performance
mental and physical health
divided attention
extracurricular activities
overall development

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Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Unit 2: To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Some people feel that robots are very important to humans’ future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?