IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Cyclists and car drivers sharing the same roads causes some problems. What are the problems and what can be done to reduce them?

#cyclists #car #drivers #roads
In recent years, the population in the countries has
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 dramatically, the space is not enough for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 to maintain a high quality of living and the
roads
 are too
intensity
Replace the word
intense
show examples
 for cyclists and
car
 drivers to drive simultaneously. In
this
 exam, I will show the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
problems
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 may cause and three
Correct your spelling
strategies
stratigies
Correct your spelling
strategies
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be done to reduce the tragedy. Cyclists and
car
 drivers sharing the same road is very dangerous
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 may cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
traffic congestion. It is hard for riders to see the back sight which may result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 accidents,
moreover
,losing their life.
On the other hand
, cars driving speed is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster than bicycles, making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hour
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peak time. In order to avoid the phenomena,
firstly
, the government should take the
Correct your spelling
responsibility
rsponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to deal with the problems, making more appropriate
roads
 for cyclists to save their
Correct your spelling
security
secrity
Correct your spelling
security
 and life.
Moreover
, the majority must enhance
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
 conceptions of taking mass
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 to reduce the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of the
roads
. The most important is that people should take care of the rounding situation when they are driving, saving others and
proctect
Correct your spelling
protect
 ourselves. In conclusion, it is not
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 when riders and
car
 drivers
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 the same
roads
, which may damage
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 life and
seriously
Replace the word
serious
show examples
 traffic jam. People
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the awareness of danger and the government starts to cope with the problems,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 issues may
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
.
Submitted by c5101502 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: