IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are released. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

In recent years, it
is
Wrong verb form
has become
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 increasingly common for recidivism after being released from prison.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons why
this
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 is the case
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
also
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 suggest some ways to resolve the problem. There are some reasons why the rate of becoming a convict again after rehabilitation increases.
Firstly
Linking Words
, during the time in prison,
prisoners
Use synonyms
 may lose their chance to gain work
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 or up-to-date knowledge.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will have difficulty
in
Change preposition
apply
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finding a job in today’s competitive
labor
Use the right word
labour
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 market. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result, they have to turn to crime for making living, which leads to an increase in the number of recidivists. Another reason for
this
Linking Words
 issue can be social prejudice. Many people still have a prejudice against former
prisoners
Use synonyms
 and ignore them even after they have been reformed.
For
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this
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 reason, it could be difficult for former criminals to reintegrate into
society
Use synonyms
, which can help them make new friends or distance themselves from bad influences.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, they will be more likely to return to their old friends who were involved in criminal activities and continue to
back
Verb problem
engage
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to
Change preposition
in
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 criminal
behaviors
Use the right word
behaviours
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. A solution for reducing the recurrence of criminal activities can be to provide vocational classes or training courses
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can give
prisoners
Use synonyms
 a chance of rehabilitation and to find work.
In some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
 universities in the US,
for instance
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, offer degree programs to enable offenders to gain qualifications. Another solution is that
society
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 reduce the stigma associated with
prisoners
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 and provide them with
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
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 backing needed to become productive members of
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
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 there are quite a number of factors which incite criminals to commit crimes after having been released, I do believe that the government and
society
Use synonyms
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility to rehabilitate ex-offenders to prevent them from recidivism.

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structure
Plan your essay. Say two reasons and two fixes. Use a clear order with linking words.
grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes, like 'As the result' to 'As a result' and 'which offer' with correct subject.
content
Give more specific facts or examples to back points.
cohesion
Use simple linking words: First, Next, Also, However, Finally.
content
Good base idea and clear task focus.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are present.
cohesion
Paragraphs show a basic plan and main points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegration
  • Marginalization
  • Vocational training
  • Psychological counseling
  • Sentencing laws
  • Community-based programs
  • Anti-discrimination laws
  • Employment bias
  • Probation system
  • Social stigma
What to do next:
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