Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Some people think that it is necessary to let
children
decide their own daily matters while others prefer contributing to future society with those who only care about their wishes. In my opinion, I tend towards the latter one.
First
of all, it is worthwhile being independent of others in terms of personal matters. Having autonomy in thoughts and actions may help
Correct your spelling
adolescents
adolecents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
become conscious of responsibilities relating to decisions they could bear.
For example
, schools in South America allow their students to
chose
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choose
show examples
the class they take, and
this
way kids will have more interest in studying.
Therefore
, it helps them know how to arrange a time for doing a mixture of both.
Also
, being an autonomous individual partly facilitates furnishing
children
with the problem-solving skill for their future life as adults. When getting involved in matters affecting them, youngsters could be in the face of problems, which forces them to follow with them and find out the appropriate solutions.
However
, autonomy at an early age like
children
has a potential risk of making them become victims of their selfishness. Indeed, the more attention they pay to personal interests including likes and dislikes, the more irrational decisions they could make in the long run. In the worst cases, they might be considered to be humans who do not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
care in the world in the eyes of people.
For instance
, evidence showed that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals and unemployed ones are due to autonomy causing less social experience.
Being lack
Unnecessary verb
Lack
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in
Change preposition
of
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experience because of not reaching puberty and
adolescent
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adolescence
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is the main reason for that.
For
Change preposition
In
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conclusion,
although
allowing them to make
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
opinions can
helps
Change the verb form
help
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them know how to arrange
time
Add an article
a time
the time
show examples
, we still should help
children
to make the decision about issues affecting them.
Submitted by xmchen0925 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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