Technology has more positive than negative effects on our relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #effects #relationships #people

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this

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modern time,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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technology

Use synonyms

-driven communication plays one of the most crucial roles in our

life

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Moreover

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, individuals rely so much on the gadgets

such

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as smartphones, tablets, computers and other electrical devices to build relationships with the people in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

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essay will articulate both views along with my opinion that the innovative

technology

Use synonyms

not only helps improve the network in the community but

also

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creates side effects if human beings make use of it in the wrong ways.

Firstly

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, advanced automation has smoothed our communication with global

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

both

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apply

show examples

socially and economically.

For instance

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, it can be widely seen that businessmen are able to conduct meetings with their partners virtually and effectively through Zoom video conferencing or other applications as long as there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reliable internet and modern devices.

Furthermore

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, we easily contact

with

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apply

show examples

our friends and family who are

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apply

show examples

oversea with a click on our smartphones or laptops.

Hence

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this

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makes

crystal

Correct pronoun usage

it crystal

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clear that the innovation of

technology

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has been an essential part of our daily

life

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if it is utilized in a useful way.

On the contrary

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, there are

also

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some drawbacks and cases

as a result

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of making friends online and excessively spending time online than

real

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in real

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life

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. To exemplify

this

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, nowadays, we have seen and heard the news from the newspaper or television that people who are using Facebook and other social

medias

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media

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are cheated by being persuaded to believe that someone they have met online

are

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rich and they end up transferring cash to the strangers.

Likewise

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, the youngsters end up wasting their time

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in front

infront

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in front

of the computer screen by playing online games and not

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

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their social

life

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with their friends and families face-to-face.

Therefore

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, their relationships with their loved ones are getting worse. To summarise, our human beings do have great benefit from the innovated

technology

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, but

this

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can only make our relationship stronger and better only if we know how to take the advantage of it.

Thus

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, we should always be mindful to balance our virtual world with the help of

technology

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and our outside world with our society.

Submitted by nannphongnoan on Wed Aug 03 2022

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
digital communication
instant messaging
social media platforms
virtual connections
long-distance relationships
cultural diversity
online interactions
cyberbullying
in-person interaction
emotional intimacy
cybersecurity
reliance on technology

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Describe a writer you would like to meet. You should say: who the writer is what you know about this writer already what you would like to find out about him/her and explain why you would like to meet this writer.

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