People are spending a lot of money in art and sports events. Is this a good or bad thing? Give your opinion.

While

some citizens enjoy spending a lot of data and cash on art and athletics for the sake they think it is useful for them, other people believe it is not the best way of spending salary because some things are more important to

this

topic during the life.Let me discuss my view in the next paragraphs.

To begin

with,I should say that since the citizenry has different views and opinions towards each other,there has always been disagreement on

this

matter and today by improving the quality of life many inhibitions prefer to spending more day and payment for their interests.

For instance

,sports and art

such

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

to the gallery or exhibition or cinema or event concert seeing that they think the soul is short

moreover

they have to

expend

Verb problem

spend

show examples

more and more salary to make the best activity for them.

However

this

subject is complex and deep.

As a result

, I want to say many humans

expending

Verb problem

spend

show examples

a lot of cash because they want to experience attractive moments.

On the other hand

, if I want to talk about the mindset and beliefs of the second category, I have to say that they think all people should save coins for vital days.

For example

, when they want to buy a new house or car or go on an expensive and essential trip.

In addition

to the mentioned items sometimes we need much pay for treatment so

outlaying

Verb problem

spending

show examples

much money on

the

Correct article usage

show examples

hobby is not good work.

Although

, they have a knot for spending too much not hobbies or interests. In conclusion,I have been spending a lot of wages on sports and I contemplate that age is the best date in my life.

Therefore

it is an integral part of my activity but I try to save my salary all the future because I believe the balance is the best way to guarantee the future.

Submitted by saeedforoghi538 on Thu Aug 04 2022

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task response

Develop clear and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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