Prevention is better than cure out of a country's health budget in last portion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is argued that if governments allocate their health budget to awareness, it is much better than facing diseases.
In other words
, if the residents knew how to prevent being ill, they would not need to recover
as a result
of a lack of knowledge. In my opinion, I agree that ministries should focus on individuals' knowledge and protective measures rather than improving treatment methods.
To begin
with,
while
some authorities believe that hospitals and medical centres should be enhanced, they tend to invest more money to develop knowledge in
this
field.
For example
, since the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
virus has been spread, politicians have examined different types of therapeutic approaches to stop the
epidemy
Correct your spelling
epidemic
show examples
.
However
, there is no evidence to prove that it will be stopped in the future.
Therefore
, they have spent a huge amount of money to find a solution for that.
On the other hand
, some individuals insist that if hygienic lessons were thoroughly taught in the schools and made them aware of the consequences,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
would not be necessary for societies to improve the medical industry.
For instance
, referring to Covid-19, if people had learnt about hygienic points
such
as social
distance
Replace the word
distancing
show examples
from the very beginning, we would not have faced pandemics.
Thus
, it is necessary to know how to prevent any illness.
To conclude
,
while
governments invest a large portion of their budgets in healing, some people claim that it is better to spend that on increasing personal
awarenesses
Correct your spelling
awareness
show examples
in order to prevent becoming ill.
In addition
, I would definitely defend the theory of prevention, which
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
uncertain cure methods inasmuch as there is no guarantee that all the therapeutic methods would work.
Submitted by neda.khn88 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear opinion on the given statement and offers relevant arguments to support it. The examples used, however, lack depth and specificity, impacting the overall task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a generally logical structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in connecting the main points more effectively and providing specific examples to support the arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevention
  • cure
  • divert
  • health budget
  • treatment
  • health education
  • preventive measures
  • diseases
  • healthcare
  • importance
  • role
  • value
  • agree
  • disagree
  • position
  • outline
  • essay
  • state
  • extent
  • summarize
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