Young people who commit serious crimes, such as rubbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that there are more and more

crimes

Use synonyms

committed by young

people

Use synonyms

and have bad influences on society. To solve

this

Linking Words

growing problem, an escalating category of

people

Use synonyms

, nowadays, try to seek solutions and some of them think those young

criminals

Use synonyms

should be punished like

adults

Use synonyms

By contrast

Linking Words

, I discern young

criminals

Use synonyms

should be educated and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

punished less. In the following essay, my contention will be

further

Linking Words

scrutinized.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is widely known that compared to

adults

Use synonyms

, young

people

Use synonyms

have

immaturity

Replace the word

immature

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

this

Linking Words

is more like a moral problem rather than

legal

Add an article

a legal

show examples

issue. In most juvenile cases, because of

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

growing environment and lack of education, those young

criminals

Use synonyms

have no consciousness of laws and do not know where is

boundary

Add an article

the boundary

show examples

of legal which means they even do not know they have committed. So if they are punished like

adults

Use synonyms

, it can have a serious impact on their physical and mental health and they will breed more evil thoughts. When they are released from prison, it is likely for them to commit

crimes

Use synonyms

again.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in order to solve

this

Linking Words

issue,

law

Correct article usage

a law

show examples

trial is no longer the most useful weapon.

By contrast

Linking Words

, more morals should be added and more legal publicity is

also

Linking Words

important.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, young offenders should be given

second

Linking Words

chance. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, in many countries, there are many kinds of laws to protect minors.

For instance

Linking Words

, in China, young

criminals

Use synonyms

are sent to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juvenile prison rather than staying with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult

criminals

Use synonyms

who can teach

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

more criminal techniques.

However

Linking Words

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juvenile prison, they can get

education

Add an article

an education

show examples

. The living and food conditions are much better in the

Correct your spelling

meantime

show examples

mean time

Correct your spelling

meantime

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

way, they can turn over a new leaf

Change preposition

show examples

their lives.

Thus

Linking Words

, as long as young offenders are educated well and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

punished just the right amount, they will be grateful to

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

and thankful for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

giving them a

second

Linking Words

chance to go back to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

normal society.

In addition

Linking Words

, a more tolerant society leads to less crime. In conclusion, after

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, I can reiterate that I believe that young

people

Use synonyms

who commit serious

crimes

Use synonyms

should not be punished like

adults

Use synonyms

. They should be educated and given a

second

Linking Words

chance. As not only

Correct your spelling

show examples

this

Linking Words

way is good for their mental and physical health, but it can

also

Linking Words

reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

in the future.

Hence

Linking Words

, I argue that governments should implement more laws to protect

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

and the public should

also

Linking Words

treat those young

people

Use synonyms

equally.

wanghaoan864Thu Aug 04 2022

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

428 words

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Young people who commit serious crimes, such as rubbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. What are the primary causes of the quality in life? What solutions can you suggest to improve the quality in life?

Some people think children should be taught competative in order to succed in life while others believe coorperative and teamwork are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

An overseas friend wants to visit your country on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Recommend the best time of year to visit and why Describe the types of accommodation your friend could choose

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?