Young people who commit serious crimes, such as rubbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that there are more and more
crimes
committed by young people
and have bad influences on society. To solve this
growing problem, an escalating category of people
, nowadays, try to seek solutions and some of them think those young criminals
should be punished like adults
. By contrast
, I discern young criminals
should be educated and be
punished less. In the following essay, my contention will be Unnecessary verb
apply
further
scrutinized.
To begin
with, it is widely known that compared to adults
, young people
have immaturity
Replace the word
immature
mind
and Fix the agreement mistake
minds
body
so Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
this
is more like a moral problem rather than legal
issue. In most juvenile cases, because of Add an article
a legal
bad
growing environment and lack of education, those young Correct article usage
a bad
criminals
have no consciousness of laws and do not know where is boundary
of legal which means they even do not know they have committed. So if they are punished like Add an article
the boundary
adults
, it can have a serious impact on their physical and mental health and they will breed more evil thoughts. When they are released from prison, it is likely for them to commit crimes
again. Therefore
, in order to solve this
issue, law
trial is no longer the most useful weapon. Correct article usage
a law
By contrast
, more morals should be added and more legal publicity is also
important.
Furthermore
, young offenders should be given second
chance. To illustrate this
, in many countries, there are many kinds of laws to protect minors. For instance
, in China, young criminals
are sent to the
juvenile prison rather than staying with Correct article usage
apply
the
adult Correct article usage
apply
criminals
who can teach their
more criminal techniques. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, in the
juvenile prison, they can get Correct article usage
apply
education
. The living and food conditions are much better in the Add an article
an education
Correct your spelling
meantime
mean time
. In Correct your spelling
meantime
this
way, they can turn over a new leaf of
their lives. Change preposition
in
Thus
, as long as young offenders are educated well and be
punished just the right amount, they will be grateful to Unnecessary verb
apply
public
and thankful for Correct article usage
the public
government
giving them a Correct article usage
the government
second
chance to go back to the
normal society. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, a more tolerant society leads to less crime.
In conclusion, after this
essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, I can reiterate that I believe that young people
who commit serious crimes
should not be punished like adults
. They should be educated and given a second
chance. As not only in
Correct your spelling
is
this
way is good for their mental and physical health, but it can also
reduce the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
in the future. Hence
, I argue that governments should implement more laws to protect young
Add an article
the young
criminal
and the public should Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
also
treat those young people
equally.Submitted by wanghaoan864 on
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Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.