IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people have to find work abroad .they have to leave theirs homes as well as friends. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantage.

#people #work #homes #friends #outweight
Some
individuals
 in their life want to work in developed nations leaving their parents as well as comrades.I believe the
merits
 outnumber the demerits because it helps experience the diversity of culture , gain high income and good condition of service.
This
 essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance as well as examples in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with ,the primary benefit of working in developed countries is high earnings.When an individual works abroad they receive a higher salary at the end of the month whereas those in developing nations receive fewer salaries.
For example
 ,the average salary of a nurse in the United State is 30000 dollars which are 20 times higher than those in Ghana.
Secondly
,another benefit of working abroad is that the
individuals
 experience different cultures.The
individuals
 will learn the language,food and dress of that nation.With ,
this
 they are learning an additional way of life to theirs.
Besides
,good working condition is another merit of working there.Those in developed countries receive incentives
such
 as risk ,car and house allowances.They have a good retirement plan for their employees.
For instance
 ,In Europe ,if a worker gets injured through the working process,the company will cater for the person till they die and huge sums of monies will be given to them while in Ghana,they will lay them off after 3 months.
Therefore
,cultural diversity and work satisfaction are the
merits
 of working in a European nation.
Conversely
,language barrier and accommodation problems are the downsides of working aboard.The
individuals
 will find it difficult to communicate with the inhabitants.
Moreover
 ,looking for accommodation will be a problem since the individual is new there.
However
,people can use translation applications to communicate with ease and the internet can be used to look for a place. In conclusion,high earnings, a good working environment and diversity of culture are the
merits
 of working abroad.Meanwhile ,communication problems and housing problems are the downsides of working there.With ,
this
 the
merits
 supersede the demerits.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: