IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

a. Some people think that children should obey the rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much can't deal with problems themselves. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers
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There are many people who think that they should teach them all.
However
Linking Words
, some people think that couldn’t control their
children
Use synonyms
 to make them know how to solve problems by themselves. In my opinion. I think we can do both of them. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are young, they don’t know everything.
Therefore
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, Parents and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 which is a good time to teach them some
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
,
such
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 as, eating, writing, speaking and watching their hands.
In
Change preposition
During
show examples
this
Linking Words
 time, we
also
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 can teach them why and how we need to do it. We can teach them
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 times to allow them
remember
Add the particle
to remember
show examples
 it.
Then
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, I think we should let them
do
Correct pronoun usage
itdo
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.
This
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 is what we can do. I
think
Add the particle
tothink
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teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
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 them all
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a
double-edge
Correct your spelling
double-edged
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 sword.
Although
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 teaching them what we want
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one way to make them know quickly, it will make people can’t solve their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 when they are
Correct your spelling
alone
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along
Correct your spelling
alone
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
 don’t know how to walk,
Add an article
a parent
the parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 can help them
first
Linking Words
,
we
Correct word choice
and we
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 can allow them
walk
Add the particle
to walk
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 by themselves. When
children
Use synonyms
 grow up, they will always ask
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 but don’t solve by themselves. I think it is bad for them when they grow up. To sum up, I think we not
also
Linking Words
 teach them how to do
but
Correct pronoun usage
it but
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also
Linking Words
 let them find out how to
do
Correct pronoun usage
itdo
show examples
. It is the best way to allow
children
Use synonyms
grow
Fix the infinitive
to grow
show examples
 up.
Submitted by fkamn12354 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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