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Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#happiness #responsibility #factors
Satisfaction or
happiness
 is one of the most important aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human
life
 that have always been discussed especially
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
 recent years. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
happiness
 is a personal possession that a person has to develop and
flurish
Correct your spelling
flourish
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in his personal
life
. Some
people
 believe that
happiness
 depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 outsources like
money
 or social position. These
people
 usually
Correct your spelling
believe
blieve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
Correct your spelling
something
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 like
money
 or luxury
life
 brings them
Correct your spelling
happiness
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if you grow up in a rich family, you will have more access to
uportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 that make your
life
 easier and brings you
happiness
 in your
life
. They
also
 believe if you
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 up in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 family you will lose a lot of
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportuinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
 will show up when you follow your desires and what you feel
Correct your spelling
passionate
pasionate
Correct your spelling
passionate
 about. All of us know that we need
money
 to afford our expenses and have an acceptable
life
. But for the
people
 don't see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 as a goal and followed their
prefferences
Correct your spelling
preferences
 by doing their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 career,
although
 maybe they don't afford to drive a luxury car,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 they are
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 in their moderate vehicle compare a person who got the
money
 as an aim and drive an expensive car. They believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conculusion
Add a comma
,conculusion
show examples
 we could say
although
 the outsources like
money
 or facilities would help us to be
successed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
succeed
, those sources would not
garuntee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 our
happiness
. Enjoyment needs to be developed inside of our personality and depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our vision
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 and philosophy.
Submitted by sam.siadat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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