Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Satisfaction or
happiness
is one of the most important aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
human
life
that have always been discussed especially
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
recent years. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
happiness
is a personal possession that a person has to develop and
flurish
Correct your spelling
flourish
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in his personal
life
. Some
people
believe that
happiness
depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
outsources like
money
or social position. These
people
usually
Correct your spelling
believe
blieve
Correct your spelling
believe
that
Correct your spelling
something
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
like
money
or luxury
life
brings them
Correct your spelling
happiness
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
if you grow up in a rich family, you will have more access to
uportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
that make your
life
easier and brings you
happiness
in your
life
. They
also
believe if you
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
up in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
family you will lose a lot of
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportuinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
will show up when you follow your desires and what you feel
Correct your spelling
passionate
pasionate
Correct your spelling
passionate
about. All of us know that we need
money
to afford our expenses and have an acceptable
life
. But for the
people
don't see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
as a goal and followed their
prefferences
Correct your spelling
preferences
by doing their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
career,
although
maybe they don't afford to drive a luxury car,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
they are
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
in their moderate vehicle compare a person who got the
money
as an aim and drive an expensive car. They believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conculusion
Add a comma
,conculusion
show examples
we could say
although
the outsources like
money
or facilities would help us to be
successed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
succeed
, those sources would not
garuntee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
our
happiness
. Enjoyment needs to be developed inside of our personality and depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
our vision
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
and philosophy.
Submitted by sam.siadat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Individual responsibility
  • External factors
  • Personal choices
  • Mindset
  • Attitude
  • Mental health
  • Self-improvement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Financial stability
  • Social relationships
  • Supportive family
  • Environment
  • Living conditions
  • Neighborhood safety
  • Cultural factors
  • Interplay
  • Dispositions
  • Case studies
  • Practical strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!