IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners. Discuss both systems and state which you think is better.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Occurs that in some countries, marriages are organized by the parents
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 choose their own partners. I want to believe
both
Use synonyms
 statements are true but in my opinion, I would like to say it is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
ideal for
people
Use synonyms
 to choose a spouse since they would spend the rest of their lives with one another.
This
Linking Words
 would be addressed in the paragraph below. I would say
people
Use synonyms
 who choose their spouse tend to enjoy every bit of their love life as they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understand the
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
 and strengths of each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, from the point of being just mere friends and growing to something more intimate. during
this
Linking Words
 process, there would be a tendency
of visiting
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
 and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 on lunch and dinner dates with each other, so doing
would
Rephrase
so would
show examples
 improve their relationship and give room to prompt communication between
both
Use synonyms
 parties. As there won't be an awkward moment between them. The most interesting part is that it strengthens their bond even before and after the wedding. Meanwhile, marriages that are arranged by parents happen to have a problem in future as
both
Use synonyms
 parties are a novice to what the respective partners want or like to do or don't.
For example
Linking Words
, You are introduced to getting married to someone with the qualities you have vowed not to have a friendship with let alone live with for the rest of yours. That's the first reason for a failed marriage when you are not getting what you have been dreaming
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
. Another instance is that there won't be smooth communication between
both
Use synonyms
 spouses and when there is no communication there is no way the marriage would survive. Marriages like
this
Linking Words
 often lead to single parents and divorce. In conclusion, I would say allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to choose their life partners would limit the rate at which divorce is rampant. It would
also
Linking Words
 limit extramarital affairs
as well as
Linking Words
 help the squad train their children as is expected of them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-structured with clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the task and provide a balanced view of both systems.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: