In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Could this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the various countries
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the world
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays, the percentage of
senior
Add an article
a senior
the senior
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
is regularly
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
. In my opinion, I believe
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
brings more negative
aspects
Use synonyms
than positive
aspects
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, when the proportion of elder people is progressively,
then
Linking Words
the young generations
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
on their
shoulder
Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
show examples
related to
Use synonyms
taxpayer
Fix the agreement mistake
taxpayers
show examples
and
pensioner
Fix the agreement mistake
pensioners
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, If the pensioner is more than the
taxpayer
Use synonyms
, it will lead to pressure comes on the youth which results in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unstable
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
. In china which
the
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
highest
population
Use synonyms
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world,
for example
Linking Words
, the percentage of
senior
Add an article
a senior
the senior
show examples
citizen is more than
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
generation,
this
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
that it created
lead
Add the particle
to lead
show examples
to financial crisis and put
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unnecessary on the youth when they have to burden
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money from
taxpayer
Use synonyms
for older people.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will lead to unbalance related to
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
for
Linking Words
this countries
Change the determiner
this country
these countries
show examples
and its almost between
Use synonyms
taxpayer
Add an article
the taxpayer
a taxpayer
show examples
and retired
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
has
a positive
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive aspect
positive aspects
show examples
aspects
Use synonyms
when the young generations are
guidanced
Correct your spelling
guided
guidance
by senior citizens who rich experiments in various fields.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are
centain
Correct your spelling
certain
the
population
Use synonyms
of geriatric who are contribute largely for financial
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.Bill Gates who is
billionaire
Correct article usage
a billionaire
show examples
over the world,
for instance
Linking Words
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
to
geriatric
Add an article
the geriatric
show examples
population
Use synonyms
, but he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been provided various knowledge
such
Linking Words
as science, technology
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
financial economy for the young generation,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
knowledge is usefully for the
youth
Change noun form
youth's
show examples
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
clearly in one of
this
Linking Words
field. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, the advantage of
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
can provide
an
Change the article
a
show examples
valuable experiment for the young generations from senior citizens.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the budget of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
crucial role in the development of one country.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
more drawbacks
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the positive
aspects
Use synonyms
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
unbalance between
taxpayer
Use synonyms
and pensioner.
Submitted by anhyeuemvt142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: