Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use?

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Teaching children about what is right and what is wrong is an essential part of their upbringing. I totally agree that punishment is the only way to persuade kids about the

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

related to their actions.

This

essay will discuss why strictness is required and how moral values can be inculcated in young ones.

Firstly

, at an early age, it is difficult to persuade a child about his or her wrongdoings through communication.

Initially

, children are not mature enough to understand the seriousness of their actions. At

this

stage, what works well is the harshness of guardians as they are well known for their dependency on elders in the family. A perfect example is my cousin, she once stole money from her mother's purse for buying ice cream. When her mother realised

this

, she slapped her and scolded her severely. Since that moment she never attempted to steal again.

Thus

, severeness is required to discipline offspring.

Secondly

, there should be a few limited ways to penalise kids or else the extreme harshness can affect their mental and physical well-being over the years.

Although

parents know well how to control their young ones, they can discipline their children by not allowing them to do their favourite thing at the moment.

On the other hand

, mentors can make their pupils stand or assist teachers throughout the class.

For instance

, one of my friend's young one is given

such

treatment for her wrongdoing and it works well. She understands that if she misbehaves, she might have to address the severity of elders.

Hence

, in spite of handling them harshly, we can prolong and repeat a few simple punishments to discipline them.

To sum up

according to

me, punishment is a must so as to guide and nurture future adults to some extent.

However

, severe behaviour might affect their mental development.

Submitted by schoudhary.sc10 on Fri Aug 05 2022

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the writer's position on the topic and introduces the main points to be discussed in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

There should be a better transition between the main points to enhance the essay's coherence.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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