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Band 4.5

Some people think that new technology always improves the lives of workers. Other people believe that it results in disadvantages for workers. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #technology #lives #workers #results
The revolutionary changes in the matter of
technology
has
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have
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 significantly impacted the lives of the people.A school of thought believes that modern
technology
 always
act
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acts
show examples
 as
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tremendous valuable aspect for workers ,whereas some critics ponder that there are some negative ramifications of
this
 practice.
This
 discourse delves into both arguments in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
technology
 is pivotal
paramout
Correct your spelling
paramount
 in
this
 contemporary era , because the whole functioning
rely
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relies
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 on the electronic instruments
such
 as the invention of GPS is helpful for the police authorities to detect the location of the criminal from their cell phones,
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
technology
 of weather forecasting through satellite endow job opportunities to numerous jobless
employees
 because the estimation of the weather from various alternatives require
majority
Add an article
a majority
the majority
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 of people.To cite an example, Elon musk the biggest entrepreneur of the Tesla organization has
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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 whole
working
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work
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 which depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
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he
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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invented
the
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apply
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electronic cars and his production unit has extremely talented
employees
 who can make the world
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 place to live in.
However
, there are countless demerits of
this
 phenomenon one of the foremost is uncertainty
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the job of persons who are unable to activate the technical programs
Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
in
this
 modern era,
firm
Correct article usage
a firm
show examples
 wants an individual who can easily operate the
technology
 .
In addition
 to,
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 of a person can escalate the effectiveness and efficiency in the production of the firm ,while technological gadgets
are
Change the verb form
are enabled
are enabling
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enable
Correct your spelling
unable
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 to do it which in turn
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 the selling process of the
comapany
Correct your spelling
company
 and a threat to severe the pressure on the
employees
 after bearing a loss. To conclude, admittedly there are endless benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 which is advantageous for the sustainability of life ,but it has disturbed the balance of experience and knowledge and
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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 a threat to the jobs of the
employees
.
Submitted by Armandeepkaur871 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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