Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #holidays #year #vacations

Having many short holidays during the

year

or fewer but longer

vocations

,both of them,in the

end

Add the comma(s)

,end

show examples

are

vacotions

Correct your spelling

vacations

that all of us have

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to take during a

year

furthemore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

,when you have been working nonstop.In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I will prefer to have many short holidays during the

year

for two reasons which I will explain in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

,for

everyone

Add a comma

,everyone

show examples

it is

Correct your spelling

necessary

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to take some

days

away from the routine and to enjoy them with their family.But,not in every

Change to a singular noun

case

show examples

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

it is possible.

For instance

this

year

I started a new job

Change preposition

show examples

the most important company in our place and

this

is wonderful for me.But,

on the other hand

,the

days

through the law that I can take were just 5

days

.So,three of them I consumed to prepare for my exam and two of them to pass with my family.I

Correct your spelling

choose

chose

choos

Correct your spelling

chose

to go in

this

way because both of them are so important

for

Change preposition

show examples

me.And in

these

Change the determiner

this manner

these manners

show examples

manner

Add a comma

,manner

show examples

I choose to do short

vocations

Change preposition

show examples

different times.

Secondly

,by taking short

vocations

you will have the

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to not create a big spare with your job.When you back there are

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

big

differents

Correct your spelling

different

show examples

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

what

show examples

you have left before you went.

For example

,when I take

vocations

Fix the agreement mistake

vocation

show examples

two

Correct your spelling

show examples

ore

Correct your spelling

show examples

three

days

,I can't stay more because everything

back

Add a missing verb

is back

show examples

in a routine for me.I prefer to enjoy these

days

and in other vocation to change the destinations. So to conclude,I prefer to have short

vocations

,so in

this

manner

Add a comma

,manner

show examples

I will enjoy more them.In

this

manner

Add a comma

,manner

show examples

I will distribute during the

year

according to my

neccesities

Correct your spelling

necessities

Submitted by ilirjana.sheta on Fri Aug 05 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that people should choose their jobs based on income in order to provide security for their families. Do you agree that salary is an important factor when choosing a job? What factors should be considered?

In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. ls this a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people think that it is beneficial for youngsters to live on their own or with friends after completing school.Do you agree or disagree?