IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#champions #desire #match #world #records #prize #money #opportunity #message #send #people #attitude #sport #sports
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The meaning of sports competition for athletes might change generation by generation. Over
the
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apply
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decades ago, it was so important for the athletes to win the games motivated by the
honor
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honour
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 of
country
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the country
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.
However
, it
is obviously change
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is obviously changing
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 these years that the award money is rising. It leads to the
sport
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sports
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 players in pursuit of tempting
reward
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rewards
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instead
 of
win
Replace the word
winning
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competition
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competitions
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 or
break
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breaks
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 worldwide records.
Furthermore
, it is easier to be eye-catching and famous when they represent their nation to compete with other rivals. The exposure would attract more opportunities to make a larger amount of money for the
althetes
Correct your spelling
athletes
,
for instance
, it might become the spokesperson of
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a sport
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sport
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sports
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 brand due to the hardworking image when they fight for
the
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apply
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honor
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honour
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
international competitions. In my humble opinion, I consider it is
an
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a
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 great change not only for the
sport
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sports
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 player but
also
sport
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sports
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 industry, it brings more resources and attention to support them
pursuing
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in pursuing
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 lots of chances. Due to the lack of resources in the past, the voice of
althletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
 would be easier to aware of. Whereas there are some people worried that the core of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 competition changed because of the appealing prize reward and getting renowned. It is understandable for the
sport
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sports
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 lover when something they
fond
Add a missing verb
are fond
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 of is changing while it is so hard to elect
as
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apply
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an athlete to represent
nation
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the nation
a nation
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. As a consequence, if someone who got
this
 opportunity, I consider they will cherish it
instead
 of making lots
money
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of money
show examples
 as their target.
Submitted by dona32939 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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