some children can learn more efficienty by watching t.v. therefore, children should watch t.v regularly both in school and at home . do you agree or not ?

#children #efficienty #v #school #home

It is often argued that it is better to let

children

watch

Change preposition

show examples

particular

Add an article

a particular

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

in school and at home as they can acquire better by watching it. I fully agree with

this

opinion and believe that

children

should watch

regularly

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

First

of all,

Children

are easy to out of focus on something

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

section but

program is the one of the best equipment to draw their attention.

Books

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

usuelly

Correct your spelling

usually

let people feel sleepy and bored

sometime

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sometimes

show examples

even for

adult

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adults

show examples

as well.

However

shows will

produced

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produce

show examples

a funny way or more active to present things in visualization which is more eyes catching compare to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

books

. There

are

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some

program

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programs

show examples

created by Disney which

are

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show examples

popular in the world for

children

, these

shows generally help people

about

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with

show examples

critical thinking as they need to make a choice for some

situation

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situations

show examples

which Disney created.

That is

why it is more

Correct your spelling

efficiently

efficient

efficienty

Correct your spelling

efficient

Change preposition

show examples

watch

in school and at home.

Secondly

, watching

for learning can

also

create topics

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for

show examples

their classmate to discuss the question or circumstance on the show. So they can have more

conversation

Fix the agreement mistake

conversations

show examples

between

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other to build up the confidence to talk and express themself.

For example

, they might have some

argue

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arguments

show examples

with others about standing for the different

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

views

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view

show examples

. But it is

also

improving how to judge

the

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apply

show examples

things right or wrong and

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to have more critical thinking.

Thus

, they can though watch

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

something they can not

learning

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learn

show examples

from

books

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that watching

both in school and at home is more beneficial than

traditional

Add an article

the traditional

show examples

way

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show examples

learning

Correct your spelling

because

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

it helps

children

learn

Correct your spelling

easier

easlier

Correct your spelling

easier

and happier,

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

can get more knowledge

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

books

Submitted by kyle.kakili on Fri Aug 05 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children can learn more efficienty by watching t.v. therefore, children should watch t.v regularly both in school and at home . do you agree or not ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer.In your letter: explain why you need this time off give details of when you want this time off say who can do your work when you are away

Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some countries have introduced a law to eliminate working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think that its essential to learn. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.