IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it could be better to our environment and economic if people only ate local produced food. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumer #people #environment
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Foods
Use synonyms
 are exposed to
Correct your spelling
important
imortant
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important
 distances in order to be reached
Linking Words
last
Add the comma(s)
,last
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 consumers. One of the most
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fundamental
fundemantal
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fundamental
 reasons is the conversion
Use synonyms
foods
Change preposition
of foods
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 to
an
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apply
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industrial
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business
bussines
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business
. To be conveyed the
foods
Use synonyms
 from one region to another without any limits is to bring about some problems along,
such
Linking Words
 as environmental and economic fluctuations. According to point of my view, the most logical solution is to prefer the local alternatives rather than
global
Correct article usage
a global
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 scale. The fact that
foods
Use synonyms
 have to get
a great deal distances
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great deal distance
great deal distances
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, especially nowadays, is accepted as a real.
In other words
Linking Words
,
ever-
Correct article usage
the ever-inreasing
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inreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 population around the world and irrational source distribution
such
Linking Words
 as soil and water capacity force the world to different options.
For example
Linking Words
, as it is well-known, African and sub-African regions do not have
irigation
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irrigation
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opportunities
oportunities
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opportunities
 and it is almost impossible to harvest any product. What is more, harsh climate conditions in these areas in terms of drought precipitate to emerge
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hunger
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 If it is analysed from these perspectives, the transportation of
foods
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render
Change the verb form
renders
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to
Change preposition
apply
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more sustainable and
managable
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manageable
manage
 the serious food crises which affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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certain
geograpic
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geographic
geographical
 zones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be mentioned there are various negative ways of transporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foods
Use synonyms
throughout
Change preposition
apply
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long distances. Environmental
deterioriation
Correct your spelling
deterioration
 and soil erosion are the most critical consequences. Mexico which is the
leader
Replace the word
leading
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 country in producing of Avocado
witnesses
Wrong verb form
witnessed
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 the most crucial water
crises
Fix the agreement mistake
crisis
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 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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 history. In spite of over - demanding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Avocado in global, most of
lakes
Correct article usage
the lakes
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 and rivers in Mexico are about to run out.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, economic disruption in Mexico is a compelling issue to plant Avocado. To recapitulate, deploying the food materials to
varios
Correct your spelling
various
reigons
Correct your spelling
regions
 of the world is a need. As long as the source ability is not fair, up to a degree, especially regions which are deprived of growing plants will
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 it.
Submitted by canertiryaki on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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