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Writing Samples
Band 6

Higher education can be funded in several ways including the following three: 1. All costs are paid by government. 2. All costs are paid by the student. 3. All costs are paid by the student using loans from the government that must be replaid after graduation. Discuss the benefits of each option. Which is the best one?

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Many
Use synonyms
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 provides several methods to
students
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 to cover
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 higher
education
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costs
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. One method is to offer
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 their fees on behalf of bureaucracy;
conversely
Linking Words
, another process is
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students
Change preposition
for students
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 should bear
his educations expense
Change to a genitive case
the expense of his education
show examples
.
Linking Words
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Third
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The third
show examples
 option is
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students
Change preposition
for students
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provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
costs
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 using
loan
Add an article
a loan
show examples
 from
ministry
Add an article
the ministry
show examples
 which have to return
students
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 during their work period. I shall discuss the necessity of every process. I think that among them,
Linking Words
Use synonyms
third
Add an article
the third
a third
show examples
 option is best for
students
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 and
nations
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.
To begin
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 with, those governments
whome
Correct your spelling
who
whom
 provide
Linking Words
Use synonyms
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education
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costs
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
students
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 beneficial for each individual
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students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 for society.
Education
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is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
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more easy
Replace the words
easier
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Change to a genitive case
the people of the nation
the nation's people
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
 people
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when their governments give their tertiary educations fees
as a result
Linking Words
students
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 can not find any tenacious conditions related to
money
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 during their
study
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 period which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to concentrate more on
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study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
This
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 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to prosper their personal life.
Moreover
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, when more people
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 educative in a community,
this
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enrich
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enriches
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 the lifestyle of society and makes a nation
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
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.
For example
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, if administrators take the responsibilities of
education
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 systems that means the group of indigent people can
also
Linking Words
 get the opportunity of
education
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 resulting in they can improve their personal and community conditions.
Therefore
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, the more easy
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education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system a
country
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
, the higher their people’s personal and social life will be.
On the other hand
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,
those
Change the determiner
that country
those countries
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country
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 where
Correct your spelling
students
studnets
Correct your spelling
students
 bear
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 expense of university studying is beneficial for the
nations
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.
Students
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 are taking
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 action of their tertiary
study
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means governments can save a huge amount of
money
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 from their annual budget by which they can improve
a countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
countries
a country
show examples
 other infrastructure and use
this
Linking Words
money
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 in other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as agriculture field, Export and Import business, Nuclear field,
Reserch
Correct your spelling
Research
 division and so on resulting in the
nations
Use synonyms
 can rise their value towards the world which makes a
country
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 more prosperous.
For instance
Linking Words
, some countries are developing continuously and many
Correct your spelling
people
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 say that the main reason behind their prosperity is
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that their
students
Use synonyms
 take their
education
Use synonyms
 liabilities.
Hence
Linking Words
, it will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 useful to a
country
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, if their
students
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 paid their
Linking Words
Use synonyms
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
study
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costs
Use synonyms
. 
Furthermore
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, there
other
Add a missing verb
are other
show examples
 methods which I think
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 beneficial is when administrations offer
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
 to their
students
Use synonyms
 to bear their
Linking Words
Use synonyms
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 expenditures and after completing their graduation, they back it to their authority because
this
Linking Words
 method can not create any burden on
students
Use synonyms
, their family and bureaucracy as well.
Students
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 and their families
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not to
di
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 any pressure about
university’s
Change noun form
university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
. They can easily continue their
study
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 and after completing their graduation when they are doing
jod
Correct your spelling
good
,
this
Linking Words
 time they return the
money
Use synonyms
 to the authorities and authority can use it on their other needs which has
make
Change the verb form
made
show examples
 every journey
easir
Correct your spelling
easier
. To illustrate, industrialised countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, UK,
Australia
Correct word choice
and Australia
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us
Correct your spelling
use
show examples
this
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 process
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
education
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 field which make them the highest educative
country
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. For
this
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 reason, I think that it will be beneficial for every
sites
Change to a singular noun
site
show examples
.  In conclusion,
education
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costs
Use synonyms
 of tertiary can be funded in many ways. Each
Use synonyms
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
 have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 personal procedure to complete it. There are three methods among them I think
Linking Words
Use synonyms
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
 one is better.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal access
  • financial background
  • educated workforce
  • social equality
  • financial stress
  • government expenditure
  • sense of responsibility
  • financial stake
  • lower-income families
  • financial management skills
  • financial stability
  • immediate financial burden
  • repay the loans
  • significant debt
  • post-graduation
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